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Monday, March 31, 2008

A Preview of Coming Attractions...

There will be more episodes of The Lord Genocyde Show coming up after the second Weekend in April.

Second Weekend in April marks the second time in several years that I'm off during The Louisiana Railroad Days Festival. This is a small carnival with all kinda "family" entertainment and, afterwards, the "fairground" usually looks pretty trampled. We're going to have to do this during the day since my camera doesn't operate well in low light (anyone have a recommendation for a better digital video camera?) and mostly what we'll be doing is walking around and taking a closer look at the security there. As close as we can get anyway.

As far as subjects to cover for The Lord Genocyde Show, I'm kind of at a loss as to what to talk about. Sometimes I have a ton of shit on my mind just waiting to come out but, with the Lockdown episode indefinitely shelved for now, I'm sort of stumped so I am now taking submissions and suggestions. Hell, even a Lord Genocyde Fan Q&A Might be a good one. That's right...you get to interview ME.

As far as The Cry HAVOC! Videos...those are forthcoming. I've got Phoenix as a training partner and he'll be featured in the videos with me. His significant other will be operating the camera and her daughter will be taking stills for the articles so that pictures can be posted of each move. You can view the videos with hard copy print outs of the articles to serve as your field manual of sorts. Now that we have enough to make a crew...we just have to figure out scheduling to find a day where we can do nothing but shoot and I'm seeing about putting all the bloopers and outtakes into the credits or as a standalone video itself if there are too many. It's our way of laughing at ourselves so we don't take this too seriously.

Finally, in The Genocydal Empyre news, April 8th will feature our final interview as we say Goodbye Forever to The Genocydal Empyre v3.0 and it's host of bugs in that version. Fred Brito will join us to discuss many many different subjects including, but not limited to LAPD Corruption, How to spot a fraud in the workplace, how to get that elusive job you want within the first five minutes and many other subjects as well. Fred was a master conman. After his release from prison, he decided he wasn't going to be a recidivist. He went out in search of job after job and saw that his honesty was getting him nowhere. Finally, fed up with being honest, Fred assumed many, many different identities in order to get jobs. In three years, this man held over 30 jobs...none of them paid under $100,000 per year. He's even worked in high-level positions without so much as a single qualification and, furthermore, left some of these institutions in better shape financially than when he walked in. Since then, he's been on Dateline NBC, Dr. Phil and he's even being sought by the Feds...to give THEM seminars! He's also written five books and is currently writing a sixth with a movie in the works about his life that will be a comedy.

Now, one more item, April 17th. With the news of The Genocydal Empyre v3.0 going bye-bye, I know many of you are worried about the second interview with none other than John Mark Byers. Guess what? It's still happening. On that night, we'll be airing the first ever installment of The Genocydal Empyre Omega, our final version change. Talk about ending one with a bang and starting one with another bang! Nothing has changed on this except the version of the programming. While last interview went well, this interview will be less shot from the hip and more of a prepared and well-run interview. We'll be taking your questions again, however, this time, we're asking for those questions to be submitted to us via email by April 11th so that we can thoroughly review them and answer them in a more well-prepared state. This will allow us to have your questions answered in a way that we're not rushing for time and trying to get every question in all at once as the last show did sort of end up a madhouse between messengers. BTW, as today is March 31, I ask that your prayers be with Mark as he goes to see his doctors for tests today. Let's keep our prayers focused and our fingers crossed that everything is alright.

So far, that's all the news I have Ladies and Gentlemen. Have a good one and if there's anything you need to know, simply contact me here.
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Monday, March 17, 2008

Episode 93: The Toolbox Debacle

Ok, if it's one thing that I fucking despise, it's when people want to use my shit but not put it back where they friggin' found it. I have absolutely no problem with people wanting to use anything in my home. Hell, I encourage it but the only thing I ask is that it be put back in it's place.

Recently, I acquired three roomies and, while I love the hell out of these three, Phoenix has one minor flaw...it just so happens to be the flaw that happens time and time again.

Now I told you that to tell you this. About two months or so ago, I finally broke down and built a toolbox for the house and some hobby projects. The way I had it figured, constantly calling the landlord to send someone over, causing me to stay up late was more of a pain in the ass than just fixing it myself. All I really lacked were the tools. So, I stood there in a place called Nichols which is a local micro version of Wal-Mart with the exception of the prices. The bad part about the prices is they get you on one thing. These people know that if you drive the 15 to 20 minutes out of town to obtain the things you can find at Wal-Mart then you'll be spending about the same amount of money. The sad part is, it's true. After feul costs and time, you're gonna be spending more. This way, you're paying for the convenience.

I'm off track here. Ok, back to it. So anyway, I build this multipurpose toolbox and now I can work on just about anything. Another reason I built it is because I'm notorious for buying small toolkits and losing parts of them. Why? I loan them out to roomies who never put things back where they have found them. How do they get away with this? Well...if you guessed that they'd have borrowed something for so long that I'd have to go borrow it back, I'd have to say you'd be right. By then, I'd find pieces missing only to receive the explanation that those that had the toolkit last weren't sure WHAT happened. Yep, that's right, all those really important pieces mysteriously vanished without a trace. So, naturally, building a toolkit of my own and actually shelling out the cash would be a nice motivator. I mean, if I build a big, heavy toolkit of my own, I'll keep better tabs on my stuff, right?

The one addition to my collection of tools is the one thing I was really wanting for multipurpose tasks; a Dremel rotary tool. Now, this thing only has two speeds...stop and go. I'm not sure how fast the bits rotate but when that thing kicks on, it sounds a lot like one of those proton packs from the movie Ghostbusters. A flip of the switch kicks into gear this little WHIIIIIIRRRRRR sound that can equal a handsaw only just quiet enough for you to hear someone else talking to you. You'll have to turn it off to fully understand what the hell it is they're saying but you know what I mean.

I got this thing because of the things I've seen it do. I mean you can use the little bastard for anything as long as you have an outlet in which to plug it. It came in handy when I cut a 6-foot staff in half and needed to sand the ends that my mitre saw had eaten through. Still, I wanted this thing because I had an idea and I really needed one of these tools to make that idea happen.

That's when Phoenix came into the picture. When I first met him, he was working at a little occult shop in a nearby town. The shop was called Celtic Light and he was in the business of making runes for divination purposes. He was actually cutting wood and making sets of runes out of wood, marking them using a woodburning pen...I'm getting one of those soon. It wasn't really his work with the wood that I found particularly interesting but his flair for making polished runestones that I noticed. Bloodstone, hematite, amethyst...it didn't matter. As long as he had a Dremel, some diamond bits and a decent paint pen with a fine tip...he could make a set of beautiful runestones that he'd use in lieu of tarot cards. He actually did a reading on me and I have to say...I don't think I want him doing that shit again. He knew too much about me and I'd just met the guy.

Anyway, I got word that he and Deb were comin back down from Wisconsin. I'd had the idea for some time to do these things...no time like the present to get 'em done. So far, we've made about three sets of runes using wood. They didn't exactly come out like we'd have liked them to but what makes this thing awesome is that we've gotten a good start. We've got a woodburner on the way and we're also going to be making some other things. We've even got a name for the online shop; The Rainmakers. We started this thing into motion on a rainy Monday and since there is a shortage of places right here in this area that makes or even sells them, we figured, hell...why not?

Here's where my complaint comes in. Now, I'd helped in the cutting process of the whole ordeal and started the sanding. Phoenix finished the sanding and started cutting the runic markings into the pieces. The next day, he wanted to mark in the grooves with a black pen and spray the clear coat onto them for the finish. We don't exactly have a woodburner yet so burning the runes in is problematic. Problem, he wants to leave the Dremel, the hacksaw, the bits...everything...out of the box simply because he might use it the next day.

Right then, I have to stand my ground. Granted, the Dremel didn't exactly break my bank but why take unneccessary risks with the tools, right? Unfortunately, I had to find a nice way to insist so naturally...that means a short lecture on my part. I hate that. I hate having to do it. Why? After explaining the very night they got here that I don't mind them using my tools, watching my movies, using my dishes, blah, blah, blah, I'm having to explain this again?

Ok, granted, they're not his and I understand that but when you spend about $200 or so on tools, you kinda like to have that respected. Granted, I'm well-known but I'm not exactly well-funded yet. Maybe later on I'll have a more expensive set but, until then, I'd like to take care of what I have here. I'm not hacked at Phoenix's terrible lapse in judgment too badly but it's just irritating to have to explain that kinda thing.

Deb's daughter, Melissa actually did a really cool thing with my movies. See, my DVDs are all sitting in an aluminum case that looks like a small trunk. The DVDs are in a file system of sorts and the only real way of finding the movie you want is by pulling them one at a time until you run into the one you want to see. Well, bless her, she took it upon herself to manually go through each and every one of my nearly 400-some-odd movies and list each sleeve number with the corresponding title. Now, if I want to watch something...I just go through the catalog that she'd handwritten. That's got to be one of the coolest things that any 18-year-old has ever done for me. That act was nothing short of gnarly.

So far, I haven't run into any other problems of the sort but judging from that one...I'm hoping like hell there won't be another incident like it.
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Sunday, March 16, 2008

I Am The Ghost of Sparta...I Am Kratos!

Friday, March 14, 2008...

I've been waiting for this day. Two of my roomies and I had just finished up our grocery shopping at WalMart. Now, it was merely steps away from the GameStop to pick up my copy of God of War: Chains of Olympus and not even that red-headed nerd with that fruity little ponytail was gonna stop me.

Decked out in black swat team style boots, my camo pants, and TopSecretTraining.com t-shirt and my favorite pair of shades...I lit up and started bullcharging through WalMart's parking lot. Cars stopped short and honked as I traversed the lot.

Fuck off, pal...today I'm not taking some nerd's bullshit and your car is nothing more than a pile of scrap Detroit steel and fiberglass if I stop for any reason. I had it on my mind. Persians would die in scores...or others would. Choice was theirs. I walked past rows smoking and looking around. Today was not the day.

Attica would be dark and blood would be deep and I have a basilisk to defeat and many miles to go before I sleep. Did you hear that, ladies and gentlemen? Many Miles To Go Before I Sleep...

GameStop was opening and opening the gates was that fuckin' nerd again.

Amazingly, I said nothing...my game was already on the counter. Guess he saw me comin. Once everything had been broken down. I paid out the $13 remainder and walked out with my game. I walked out for the last time, stuffing the game into the left leg pocket of my pants. I've got an inside guy working in the GameStop in the mall now. I don't need The Nerd anymore.

Upon getting home and paying off some other bills, I popped in the game. That epic music filled my ears and my only disappointment was that I'd have to play The Attica Battle all over again to get anywhere else in the game. When I got the Demo, that's all it was...the first part of the Battle At Attica.

I went on what critics would call a raging, roaring, theatre de mass destruction. Let the bodies hit the floor...let the living suffer my wrath...dying is not an option. I found that, once I was done beating the Basilisk like it was my little bitch and flattening that big Persian's head with a chest fulla gold...there were two women in a cage who were more than willing to provide Kratos a little "relief" if you know what I mean. Attica's under siege, there's a pissed-off basilisk running amok blowing fire all over these people and wrecking beautiful marble buildings and I'm the one that's getting laid. I fucking love this anti-hero schtick.

Once the Battle at Attica's finished and the Basilisk is destroyed, then I'm left feeling a little bereft. Now what do I do? Well, it's not over...apparently, the sun falls, Morpheus takes over and I get to hear about the titan, Atlas, kidnapping Helios, The Sun God. What this means is a damned long quest to restore the sun. Great.

Despite assurances that the nightmares would be removed from Kratos' head, he's just going through the game. At least, that's what I'm doing...driving this one-man weapon of mass-destruction through to the next level until...FUCKOLA! The goddamned battery died.

It just got done recharging.

The Ghost of Sparta Lives!