Sony Decides To "Go Apple"

Sony has a rap sheet that goes way beyond even my own expectations. Their constant unprosecuted criminal acts should have been enough of a shocker to those whom vote politicians in for the promise they'll be "tough on crime." Still, the electronics powerhouse has decided to do what Apple has done.

If you're anything like me, you like handheld video gaming/multimedia. Let's go back through a bit of history before we catch up to the last sentence and then we'll move forward.

One blogger pointed out a few years back that Sony/BMG had been installing root kits in their CDs without telling you. If you have any of the CDs from their artists, no doubt you've either played them on your computer or you've ripped them to your computer. If either of those is the case, consider this for a moment.

Imagine ordering a pizza. The Pizza guy delivers it, comes in, makes himself at home and opens your back door for the Pizza joint to investigate whenever they like. You don't like it and you ask him to leave...he refuses. You decide to forceably remove him and he proceeds to destroy parts of your home, kick the door off the hinges and then leave.

Not really appealing? Should be prosecuted, yeah? Well, not according to Sony. Their stance is that they should be able to resort to illegal behavior in order to protect their bottom line. Guess what? they got called on it and they got away with it. Now, they let you know that the crap's still there and they refuse to remove it. The illegal activity even inflamed their artists who decided that they wanted those illegal hacker tools OFF of their CDs. Nothin' doin', folks.

The next phase of criminal activity came when they decided to interrupt the free enterprise market with proprietary software in their PSPs. The same also goes for the PS2 and the PS3. Mess with it and screw up and your machines are as good as overpriced paperweights.

Let's move on to PSP's format, the Universal Media Disc or UMD. It didn't catch on in anything except gaming. They did make movies for PSP in the UMD format. While even I can see that as a novel approach, I just don't want to spend the money on PSP formatted movie discs when I can take my own DVDs and literally rip them to the memory sticks. I carry around far less and I can watch movies that Sony HASN'T bothered reformatting.

When it comes to laser-readable discs, what happens? File Sharing!

Now, I must admit that Sony's PSP was an awesome bit of kit but they had to expect that problems would present themselves.

Sony wanted ultimate control of what was done with their device even AFTER YOU made the purchase. Hackers being hackers, none of them decided to lay down on the tracks to await the train. They went to hacking. Some bricked their devices further proving that Sony brazenly told customers "You'll play with it our way or no way at all." Others, hacked with success only to have to re-hack every time a firmware update came.

Okay, look, Sony...it goes like this. When I pay my hard-earned dollars down for something...I become the owner. If you want to share ownership, then share responsibility and put it in writing or shut the fuck up.

Now, the PSP Go is the rage on the commercials. Pardon me while I laugh heartily at Sony's continued stupidity.

I know there's the old saying, "If you can't beat them, join them" but it seems as though Sony is going with the old Carlin idiom, "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten." and doing it badly.

PSP Go boasts better features than the PSP or PSP Slim. One problem, it's download only and nothing is reverse compatible. So let's say that you're a bit old-school like me. When you buy something, you expect physical and tangible product in your hands. You expect to be able to take that product down to the local Game Shop to trade it in and get some credit towards a new game. Well, guess what? Nope, not today.

With the PSP Go, you have to snag the console, new memory sticks, new everything and guess what....you're buying your games all over again. Hope you weren't too invested in your previous one because, if you were, the trade-in value is not worth it.

What Sony is hoping to do is ride Apple's iPhone wave of downloadable apps. Yeah, okay, Sony, that's cool but you're forgetting something....most of the apps and games for iPhone are less expensive than most of your games...some of them are even free.

If they thought they had problems with piracy then, just wait, guys...this ship is going to sink like the Titanic comprised of a lead hull.

I must admit that the PSP Go does look awesome but what would have been better?

Well, let's have a look at a company making one hell of a knock-down, drag-'em-out return to gaming greatness...Nintendo. Nintendo's DS, DSi, and DS Lite don't seem to have many piracy issues. Could it be because the games are cartridges? I think so. Granted, the DS Lite doesn't have many of the features that the DS and DSi have but the DS also has something that the PSP doesn't...longevity without criminal behavior.

Then again, we are talking about Japan here...the land that spawned The Yakuza, The Ninja and Plumbers strung out on mushrooms.

What Apple Doesn't Want You To Know About iPhone

I've had a change of heart about the iPhone. Apple's mobile juggernaut was once something that I wasn't excited about until I held and used one for the first time. After several extremely useful experiences, I was completely satisfied with it. Then again, when you go from a field that doesn't allow much for practical learning and application of electronics into one that pays you to know about them, it was very evident that I didn't know better.

First, let's go through the overall problems with iPhone. This is the stuff that Apple doesn't want you, the consumer, to know.

AT&T's insurance will not cover it. After asking the question hundreds of times to various sales associates and getting nowhere, I decided to ask once more. Worst they could do was tell me the same thing I'd always heard, "I don't know." This time, I did not get that answer. Apparently, the premiums and deductibles would be too high for any practical insurance application. This was the answer I got. Apparently, no one wants to take that longshot bet. Insurance companies seemed to have formed some semblance of a conscience.

As an iPhone 3G user, there's not much in the way of incentive to make me upgrade. I upgraded to this phone from a Motorola RAZR V3r (Fire Engine Red) with removable memory for this phone because I have text happy people around me. The differences between iPhone 3G and iPhone 3GS are extremely few. The 3GS does have a faster processor, more RAM and more storage space but that's about it. Any of the other apps that come standard on the phone will work on mine and, yes, mine also has the multimedia messaging with the upgrade to iPhone's OS (3.0). Seeing as these are really the only differences, where is the incentive to shell out nearly $300 for an upgrade? Should I start jacking with the source code to further customize the phone, I'll probably brick it, the battery isn't user-replaceable and the only way to charge the battery is to charge it while the damn thing is on. Not exactly smart.

Then, it gets really shady on the business end of the deal. See, Apple and AT&T locked into one of those deals of Mephistopheles proportions. Apple basically names the price and decides when or if it will decrease. There were further financial applications that AT&T had to meet, among them, exorbitant royalty expenses for the "privelege" of carrying the iPhone. Guess who is paying that cost? Need a hint? iPhone Users! That's right, high costs of data plans and no way in hell you're getting cut any breaks whatsoever. Thanks, guys! I can't tell you how much I just looooooove forking over that much money every month when others aren't getting hit that hard because they're using different phones!

Now, let's go with practical application. First, let's just say you like making custom ringtones. Get ready for a fucking headache. You have one of two options and they are as follows:

Option #1: Purchase the song from iTunes (99 cents per song) use Garageband to select one section of the song and then run that through the ringtone maker in iTunes and then...I'm not joking here...buy that ringtone version of the song (almost a staggering $3.00 per tone) and there ya go. Okay, so let's recap. You'll pay 99 cents for a FULL version of the song and then almost $3.00 for less than 30 seconds of it. Still like the status symbol that this thing is? Okay...but also consider that you have to select from iTunes' selection. That's right, if you didn't buy it through iTunes, you're not getting it.

Option #2: See, I'm the kind of guy that got my music legally. What I don't have on CD, some band tossed me a digital download because of the promotional work that I used to do. I don't have shit to prove to any corporation, I don't give a flying fuck what Steve Jobs thinks. If any of them think I do...fuck you. Fucking prove I that my digital copies are illegal. The real problem is that most of the music I like is independent. I like very little mainstream shit anymore. So when I like a band, I show it by making others listen to it as a ringtone when someone calls me and it never fails, I usually get asked, "Hey, what ringtone is that?" So that means I have to find a way to circumvent that numbshit three buck per crap. There are plenty of instructional how-to sites on the subject but if you know what it takes to make the tones, it's a pain in the fucking ass. So, pay three bucks per or just circumvent it with one of the instructional how-to sites. I think it's pretty obvious which one I chose to do.

Which brings me to a whole new series of issues...portability issues. No, it's pretty easy to carry around. I'm talking about music. If iTunes undergoes an update and you have to upgrade, don't sync the phone to your computer or you will lose playlists, songs and...RINGTONES! This means you're going to be stuck with that numbfuck marimba tone for anyone you assigned a ringtone to when you were painstakingly customizing it. Yep, you're going to have to repopulate your library (not exactly a first for iPod users) and then re-add everything but pictures. Everytime there's a new update for the firmware on iPhone...guess what? Same thing. You can't escape it. Not only that but the only way you're going to sync this thing to your laptop AND desktop are if your iTunes accounts are set up in an identical fashion on both computers. If not, be ready for the pain because there's only one direction in which the music goes...TO the device, FROM the computer.

Okay so with a lack of customization ability, a battery that takes a goddamned experienced technician to replace and bone-stock everything on top of a headache, it's pretty obvious that Apple has not bothered listening to actual consumer demand and brazenly naming their price in the process. While I can hardly fault them for fooling me, I can be thankful that it's a mistake I will not repeat.

I seem to remember a commenter somewhere on the web mentioning to me (as though it were scripture) that Apple would dominate the cellphone market. Here's a reality check that won't bounce; Apple will only dominate the market if it does three things:

1. Become their own cellphone provider.

2. Offer better service than all others with rates that are competitive and comparable rather than assume people will just pay.

3. Listen to consumer demand and act on it accordingly.

Then and only then, everyone. Frankly, I'm not holding my breath on that. When I have to purchase a bulky $50 case simply because no insurer of cellphones will touch them...I think it's pretty obvious what's going on. Not only that, but if you have to know the harsh truth about this product...it took AT&T a minimum of 17 months to recuperate any kind of profit off of this device...17 months! I'd hoped AT&T would have been smart enough to see the error in this sort Enron-proportioned investment.

Verizon customers, listen up. If you're waiting and chomping at the bit for Verizon's version of the iPhone, just turn away from it now. It's going to be a CDMA version of the phone rather than a GSM and will NOT be worth your money. If you thought Verizon's rates are murder on your pocketbook now...just wait for the first six months post iPhone release. The wailing about how high the bills will be due to the insane royalties that Verizon will have to pay will not surprise me in the least.

If you want to know the difference between a CDMA version of any phone and a GSM, just read Wallace Wang's book Steal This Computer Book 4.0 to get a real education on the world of cellphones.

I still have about a little over a year left on my contract with AT&T over this thing and, quite frankly, I'm not about to go for the iPhone 3GS. It's not worth it in the least. I think what I'm going to do instead is continue to search for a phone that is not only comparable but far more suitable (and I think I've already found one) and, sadly, that might have cost AT&T a customer as well. Honestly, I think this is about as good as AT&T gets and it's just not that great in my opinion.

I know many of you may be thinking that this means I'm all-out boycotting Apple's iPods as well. No. I haven't found any MP3 players that have served me as well as the iPods have. I still think I should have gone with my first instinct and purchased an iPod Touch a long time ago and simply upgraded to a Palm Treo or something of that sort. Realistically, I think it would have been the better choice. Reloading an iPod might be a pain in the ass but at least I don't have to worry about some painstaking process of resetting all my settings on it. I mostly use it to play media and that's about it. Call me old school but that's about all I really do with it.

As for smartphones, trust me when I say this...there are far better out there. They all have their cons but do you really want a cellphone company aiming for penetration when it comes to the phone of your choice? I didn't think so.

Sorry, Apple, but you had to know that the illusion would wear off eventually.

Episode 22: Carry Some Useful Info

I'm actually sitting here listening to the Mr. Mister song "Kyrie" in which some of you will know that the lyrics to the chorus are as follows:

Kyrie Eleison down the road that I must travel
Kyrie Eleison through the darkness of the night
Kyrie Eleison where I'm going will you follow
Kyrie Eleison on a highway in the light...

For those of you who don't know, the words "Kyrie Eleison" mean "Lord, have mercy" in Greek and is commonly used in Catholic and Greek Orthodox rituals.

I didn't know any of that until tonight when we heard the song in Fuddrucker's Restaurant. In all my infinite wisdom, I decided to do what I do best, I whipped out my phone and did a full-scale plunge through cyberspace to find that little sect of lyrics staring back at me...and it didn't make a lick of sense at all.

I frantically searched for a story behind the song only to find that the phrase had been translated to make more sense to me.

I felt like an idiot. For years I thought they were saying "Carry a Laser." Bringing that point up only made Misty laugh her ass off at me as though I were announcing that, in this information Superage...I was still using a Tandy 1000 RL.

"You were brought up Catholic," she said, "You went through catechism!"

"I went to catechism in Darwin's Waiting Room, honey," I said.

"Yeah but they should have taught you this," she responded.

"Baby," I said, "They were too busy trying to piss down my back and tell me it was raining with the bullshit about D&D and Ozzy Osbourne. It's not like I had anything that had evolved past the point of chimp teaching me. Hell, they refused to let me take the German class in High School for fuck's sake."

"Well they taught us what stuff like that meant," she said.

For the first time in my life, not only did I feel like a complete moron but I thought I'd been cheated by life.

Then I came upon these comments on a website:

I also thought it was "carry a laser" which was espeially poignant as I was working in a laser hair removal salon when I first noticed this song. I think the Muzak folks must have thought it was about lasers too!
- Christie, Sacramento, CA

This was a great road song! I was a Jr. in high school when this song came out. Great memeories of me and all my friends hanging out at Old Hickory Lake
- Big Ed, Pulaski, TN

These guys are very talented musicians. Do you yourself a favor and check out their first CD, "I Wear The Face" as well as their third, "Go On."
- Don, Chicago, IL

Having been raised Catholic, and being *just* old enough to remember Greek and Latin being used in certain places at Mass, I always knew they were singing "Kyrie Eleison" and what it meant. And I liked the whole Mr. Mister series of hits, even including the last semi-hit, "Is It Love," which everyone else seems to have forgotten. "Broken Wings" gets the volume cranked up every time it comes on.
- Clarke, Pittsburgh, PA

A friend and myself were talking about this song because he was makin a cd with songs that have girls names in them. He was wrong and so was I. We both thought it was Carry a laser. Now the song makes more sence.
- Steve, Rochester, NY

The first religious song i have sung
- Alberto Colonna, turin, Italy

It's like a prayer because the singer asks for help in all life's difficulties simbolyzed by the road
- Alberto Colonna, turin, Italy

It's a very beautiful song so deep
- Alberto Colonna, turin, Italy

Hey, I thought it was 'carry a laser' too! How funny! I have always wanted to know that lyric.
- Shannon, Palisade, CO

Mr.Mister was a band made up of session artists. Richard Page now does Contemporary Christian Music
- Joe, St. Louis, MO

I was 13 when this song came out and my sister was 7. he thought the chrorus was the phrase..."Carry a laser"
- chet, saratoga springs, NY

Thanks, all of you. Now I know that I'm not the only one that was ill-informed. Christos eleison if I had actually performed a karaoke version of that.

Episode 21: Random Data Directory File Listing

1. Columbine, The Vampire Cult and The D&D Killings weren't my fault. That should put your mind at ease. If it doesn't, don't piss me off...you never know what I could do next. Remember...I AM that powerful.

2. I've seen a lot of movies. Most of them don't involve sports. I'm not interested in the ones that involve sports. If it seems like I'm listening, I'm not. I'm only being polite until I can change the subject. Exceptions to this rule are Major League, Major League 2 and Necessary Roughness.

3. I know lots of useless shit. I don't know why I know it or how. I just know it. Deal with it.

4. If I start getting pissy about a frivolous lawsuit it's because I grew up in a much different generation. We went out and played. We got into fights. We got banged up, bashed up, fucked up and fucked off. We sued no one and we got nothing out of it but thick skin and the most important thing...integrity.

5. I tried fitting in...it didn't work so I got into what I actually like. If that pisses you off then take a look at your social situation. Are you one of the in crowd types? If you are, it's your fault.

6. I sucked at math but I rocked at Civics. If you need proof of this, get into a political discussion with me and get ready to have your ass handed to you.

7. Pardon me if I get off on an '80s music kick. I grew up in that time. Shit happens.

8. If I think you're a yuppie scumbag, it's probably true.

9. If I seem cold and uncaring, try saying something really fucking interesting to me. If it hasn't worked after about ten minutes, find someone else to bother.

10. Remember when kids experimented and were encouraged to do so? No better teacher than experience, no better classroom than life...whatever the fuck happened to that?

11. Basic survival classes consisted of getting lost in the woods and trying to find your way back to civilization.

12. Remember when it was safe to make sand castles on a sandbar and then go for a swim in the lake?

13. Both my parents worked and still saw us off to school, made our meals, made sure we finished homework, made sure we didn't get our asses in too many slings and even taught us to respect a gun and not fuck around with dangerous things so pardon me if I think the excuses are bullshit.

14. It was a basic rite of passage to shed your fear of horror films ...at 13 years old on out.

15. Ever notice that WWE: Monday Night Raw isn't as fun to watch now that it's all "clean?"

16. Where was Metallica when we were making mixtapes?

17. If it won't work here, why is it working in other countries? Think about that one next time you're arguing for cellphone exclusivity deals or the keeping marijuana illegal.

18. Why is it okay for a large company to resort to criminal behavior with impunity but when I do it, I'll have pin pulled on a legal grenade to be thrown at me?

19. What happened to having a discussion? Have catchy slogans become the new irrefutable proof?

20. Be prepared to look like a moron when you call me a "conspiracy whacko." Nothing written in blood or stone (or on paper for that matter) says I HAVE to believe what my government tells me. I CAN and WILL ask for proof. I also CAN and WILL hold what they say against them. Last I checked, I was born in America, land of the free and I'll think what I like and you'll like it.

21. Final Point: I haven't understood a damned thing since 1997.