The Swordsman And Other Such Happenings.

The Swordsman News Story

I know. I couldn't believe it either. Still, I couldn't help but feel satisfied in a sense. Two cops, both with guns upstaged by one man with a sword. Fucking A Right! I've always said that a sword never runs out of ammo and it looks like I'm right but then...he vanished and now they want to know who he is and where he came from.

Look, your first job as a cop is to BE AWARE OF YOUR FUCKING SURROUNDINGS!!!! If you couldn't be bothered to really look around then that's your loss. Put "mysterious swordsman" in your fucking report and be done with it, ok? You had guns for God's sake...GUNS! You were getting your asses kicked until a dude with a SWORD came along? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Ok, now your only option is to begin sword training. All of you. That's right, SWAT too...gonna need that as a tactical weapon now. Go Highlander, you swine and perhaps you won't get your asses kicked or hey...how about calling for some FUCKING BACKUP! Yeah, you're outnumbered, no one's around to help you, you're getting your asses kicked and some mysterious Highlander type comes in and wrecks shop, you know why? Because that gang attacking you knew they could sue you. They knew you only do certain things but when they see some fucker with a serious look on his face with a sword in hand, guess what? They don't know what to make of that! Then he disappeared, off into the night, like something out of The Crow.

Wanna know why? He's not going to the clink because you got upstaged and your pride was hurt. He knows you're not about to thank him. He knows you're not about to hand him a fucking medal for his bravery, psychosis, death wish...give it a name. He knows you just got your asses handed to you by the gang first, by the boss next and you're out for a little blood on that last bit.

You know, I find it odd that there are actually laws stating that you can run someone the fuck down with your car. Yeah, you can literally, legally run someone over, back up and do it again IF you're running down an armed gunman shooting at a cop.

Oh wait...looking at this article, the cops weren't armed. That's the UK, looks like!

Yeah, might want to consider at least arming your cops with swords now.

But Hey, Swords Are Coming Back Into Crimefighting!

That's right, this story details a man with a sword busting into an apartment to prevent a rape only to find that it's a neighbor watching porn. Ok so we don't win 'em all but all over the place the swords are being drawn. Fuckin Anti-Gun types are now going to have a new meaning of "Keep And Bear Arms" with which to contend.

Now, the one thing that a sword can't kill...addiction. Goddammit, I feel like I'm fighting a damn losing battle sometimes. Two weeks ago today, I fell off the wagon for one, then, this Saturday night, as I am driving home, I realized that the only way to keep my monkey ass awake was to smoke...which I did. Smoked a whole pack. Now, I haven't had one since but I'm wondering if my body wasn't making excuses to relapse. No, it's not a dead dragon yet but goddammit, by hook, by crook, by force, by choice, through fear or respect I WILL rid myself of the shit once and for all. I choose not to think of it as a dragon I have to slay, more like a pusher who's ass I'm about to kick.

Pusher *drawing my Katana* ...you're going down.