Memory
Arrival at home doesn't necessarily mean that the journey is over.
The journey of life is fraught with peril. Upon birth, on a cellular level, we all self-destruct and renew. During adolescence, some of us find solitude in some form of self-inflicted masochism. During the adult stage, some of us will spend the rest of our lives recovering.
Rayne had been going through my senior yearbook. Naturally, she was laughing at all the old pics of me. Days long since gone to me. I was about 150 lbs of scrawny rock potential. I had the sneering attitude, the thin frame, a growing ability at playing classic rock songs on an Ibanez RX-40 Stratocaster-style guitar that was as black as my deepest of moods. I was more tolerant of sunlight then. It blistered me and blinded me at times but it didn't hurt as much. I looked at myself. I recognized him. His smile was genuine but impish. He had already known the persecution in ignorance. He'd had the world figured out and everything was simple. Life was simple.
Soon after that year, a series of betrayals and deaths would leave him a busted shell. Life would turn on it's ear and rear it's ugly head at him. Those things annhilated him, I think. The happiness that was there won't ever be like it once was. I think Yoda might have put it best when he told Obi-Wan, "He is reckless!"
He was. Rushing into life head on. No quarter asked and none given. It was a fearless move. Stupid, but fearless. Seems his own memories have melded with my own. The high-octane hellish journey down Memory Lane, clocking well over 6,000 R.P.M. in an insane, frenzied haul was a happy one...if that makes any sense. I'm always saying that I'm glad I graduated when I did but for the past nine years, I'd give anything to relive my best day of it. I'm not sure what I would do. Chances are, I'd just enjoy it. Not worry about a damned thing. I'd put off rushing headlong into a torrent of shit without preparation.
I looked at that reflection of me, immortalized in photo and thought, "Damn....nearly 10 years...."
It doesn't seem like so long ago, but it seems like an eternity lost in some hazy blur. I had notions of becoming a rock star. Didn't happen. I had aspirations of being published; managed that one. Never thought I'd be some nihilistic DJ and govenment critic.
Never Knew I'd End Up This Way.
The journey of life is fraught with peril. Upon birth, on a cellular level, we all self-destruct and renew. During adolescence, some of us find solitude in some form of self-inflicted masochism. During the adult stage, some of us will spend the rest of our lives recovering.
Rayne had been going through my senior yearbook. Naturally, she was laughing at all the old pics of me. Days long since gone to me. I was about 150 lbs of scrawny rock potential. I had the sneering attitude, the thin frame, a growing ability at playing classic rock songs on an Ibanez RX-40 Stratocaster-style guitar that was as black as my deepest of moods. I was more tolerant of sunlight then. It blistered me and blinded me at times but it didn't hurt as much. I looked at myself. I recognized him. His smile was genuine but impish. He had already known the persecution in ignorance. He'd had the world figured out and everything was simple. Life was simple.
Soon after that year, a series of betrayals and deaths would leave him a busted shell. Life would turn on it's ear and rear it's ugly head at him. Those things annhilated him, I think. The happiness that was there won't ever be like it once was. I think Yoda might have put it best when he told Obi-Wan, "He is reckless!"
He was. Rushing into life head on. No quarter asked and none given. It was a fearless move. Stupid, but fearless. Seems his own memories have melded with my own. The high-octane hellish journey down Memory Lane, clocking well over 6,000 R.P.M. in an insane, frenzied haul was a happy one...if that makes any sense. I'm always saying that I'm glad I graduated when I did but for the past nine years, I'd give anything to relive my best day of it. I'm not sure what I would do. Chances are, I'd just enjoy it. Not worry about a damned thing. I'd put off rushing headlong into a torrent of shit without preparation.
I looked at that reflection of me, immortalized in photo and thought, "Damn....nearly 10 years...."
It doesn't seem like so long ago, but it seems like an eternity lost in some hazy blur. I had notions of becoming a rock star. Didn't happen. I had aspirations of being published; managed that one. Never thought I'd be some nihilistic DJ and govenment critic.
Never Knew I'd End Up This Way.
"Scorched Earth,
Rebirth,
Disinterred in the flight
of the known survivor
Whose worth is worse
than the curse
of Sardonicus choking
on his own saliva....
Who Shares The Last Laugh Now?"
-Cradle Of Filth
"Scorched Earth Erotica"
Rebirth,
Disinterred in the flight
of the known survivor
Whose worth is worse
than the curse
of Sardonicus choking
on his own saliva....
Who Shares The Last Laugh Now?"
-Cradle Of Filth
"Scorched Earth Erotica"
posted by Lord Genocyde at 8:56 AM
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