Episode 69: 45 Days, All Expenses Paid
I'm probably not going to be a popular guy after writing this but then again, I don't particularly care.
First, let me tell you a bit about where I'm coming from so that you don't misunderstand me. I'm a C.O. by profession (hopefully, not for too much longer) and I'm trained in dealing with people on a professional level. By my training, I'm supposed to be firm, fair and consistent. In my six plus years of working as a C.O., as many reviews as I've gotten, I'd say I've done a damn good job of doing just that. Now, I'm like any of you out there, I'm not a robot. I've had some moments where the professionalism didn't work and, I must admit that sometimes you gotta go outside the book. For example, if one of my guys has never given me a problem and has always been helpful in the dorm where it has been much-needed, I'm apt to grant a concession or two every blue moon. Hey, it's good to have allies sometimes and having a decent source of good information (yep, got some rats) helps ME to keep that particular dorm safe. Then again, on the flip side, those that constantly give me shit about how I run the dorm...I'm less likely to grant concessions. Why? Human nature. Nagging, insulting, arguing and generally being a pain in the ass when I'm trying to make my operation run smoothly...well, that gets the wrong kind of attention and it puts a real cramp on my stinkin' day. I don't deal well with that.
Now, on to the matter at hand...Paris Hilton. This news sideshow has irritated me to no end. I've tried to keep my mouth shut about it but now, I just can't. I have to say something and present a few solutions to this problem which has reached pandemic proportions.
First let's clear the air about two things:
1. County Sheriffs run jails. Even if the deputies caught you red handed at something, the county sheriff can walk up to your cell and let you out and tell you to just go home. That's his or her jail...they can do that.
2. Judges run courtrooms and nothing else. They can make a hell of a jail sentence for you but if the sheriff sees that the place is overcrowded and you're low on the priority list of risk evaluation, they can let you go even if it gets in the judge's craw. The judge can then explode into a fit of rage but, as the Russian saying goes, "Toughshitski, Tovarisch."
Now, on to the heart of this matter:
1. Paris Hilton was rocketed into the public eye, not because of the fact that she's heiress to the Hilton Millions but because of her constant party lifestyle. When you're a public figure, you live under a microscope. You fall into two categories; A. Loved by one and all, a role model, iconic or iconoclastic or B. Hated by many. Paris has lined herself up into both. Many young teenage girls would give anything to be in Paris' place. That, to me is unfortunate. I'll go more into that later.
2. Paris Hilton was rocketed into the public eye because of her constant party lifestyle. This means that she gets intoxicated (legally speaking) any time she attends a party and proceeds (possibly) to consume my share, your share and her share of the booze that flows like open tap water at these parties. If ya ask me, she's probably buying it.
3. Paris Hilton will never know the true value of a dollar as she never has to work. Most would agree that that's a thinly-veiled way of saying she's a spoiled brat and I would have to say you're right.
4. Paris Hilton will never know the true value of an actual friend as she's bought so many.
5. Paris Hilton is not receiving a 45-day sentence for the DUI she got...she got probation for that, she violated her probation...that's what she's getting the 45-day sentence for and the thing is, she violated it nearly right out of the gate. The rhetoric about the sentence being "excessive" is complete crap. Some of us whom may have been in this particular pickle only WISH that was what we got for that type of offense. Then again, most of us might have completed our probation without incident.
6. Paris Hilton has been chauffered around more in the past two weeks than ever before. Perhaps if she had done that sooner, she might have even skated the initial arrest.
7. From what I've seen, Paris Hilton doesn't even care about her entourage much less anyone but herself and her public image.
8. Final point...I've talked about this on the show and, while it may sound sexist, blame the law, not me. I didn't write them and I really don't care to enforce it any longer than I have to. If a man goes to jail and gets out, he still has some options. They're not much, but there are options. I think things could be more effective but, as I've said, I don't write the rules. When a woman goes to jail and gets out there are even fewer options. Prison on the other hand, is far worse a fate due largely to the fact that the same thing applies but successfully completing parole is even worse because of the lack of options. What does this mean to Paris Hilton? Not a thing. She's going to come out and still be heiress to that chain of hotels, she'll still have money, she'll still have people who have a crush on her, girls that want to be her, etc.
Now, I have some solutions to this problem but let's put the media fiasco to bed. No one wants to hear these solutions but I have them.
1. Did the judge overstep his boundaries? Best believe it! Discipline him for it. Show him his place and stick him squarely in it.
2. Did the sheriff do what he thought was right for the overcrowding of the jail in Lynwood? Sure! I'm not saying that we should give him a medal but I don't think that this is something of great concern to us. Only thing I'm saying in this case is he should be a gnat more careful of the message it sends to people when he lets someone like that out, low-risk or not.
3. Send Paris Hilton up the river...yeah, state time. Lil Kim did a year for lying on the stand. You don't see a recording studio going batty and turning her next album down. Let her do 45 days worth of state time. What that does is it keeps the jail from getting overcrowded. The Sheriff won't have to worry about her and, furthermore, the judge will be well within his sentencing rights to ensure that the entire length is being served.
4. Paris Hilton can do her time like any other person in her predicament would have been made to do. The public at large can get the same sentence and you won't see anything like what happened to her happen to any of us. Better believe that someone without her money might have even entered a plea bargain to get twice the amount of that time. Better yet, this kinda nightmare will drive the point home with her, something that probation SHOULD have done. The preventative measures didn't work, maybe the pound of cure will.
Now, understand something. I don't like my job as much as I used to. I can see it's not really helping some people to straighten out. There are those that it does help but if the public sees what happens when celebrities get it in the neck when they've done something like that and have approached it with the attitude in the Entirely Wrong spectrum, perhaps some of these public figures will get the idea to shape up or get shipped off. Let's make something clear...illegal is still illegal no matter what position of power you're in or how much money you have (or don't as in our cases) and take the sum total of the equation of those above the law to what the mathemeticians call Absolute Zero.
For those of you interested in a little food for thought, the only people above the law sit on Grand Juries and Trial Juries. If you would like to prove me wrong on that, go look it up and if you find something contrary to that, let me know.
First, let me tell you a bit about where I'm coming from so that you don't misunderstand me. I'm a C.O. by profession (hopefully, not for too much longer) and I'm trained in dealing with people on a professional level. By my training, I'm supposed to be firm, fair and consistent. In my six plus years of working as a C.O., as many reviews as I've gotten, I'd say I've done a damn good job of doing just that. Now, I'm like any of you out there, I'm not a robot. I've had some moments where the professionalism didn't work and, I must admit that sometimes you gotta go outside the book. For example, if one of my guys has never given me a problem and has always been helpful in the dorm where it has been much-needed, I'm apt to grant a concession or two every blue moon. Hey, it's good to have allies sometimes and having a decent source of good information (yep, got some rats) helps ME to keep that particular dorm safe. Then again, on the flip side, those that constantly give me shit about how I run the dorm...I'm less likely to grant concessions. Why? Human nature. Nagging, insulting, arguing and generally being a pain in the ass when I'm trying to make my operation run smoothly...well, that gets the wrong kind of attention and it puts a real cramp on my stinkin' day. I don't deal well with that.
Now, on to the matter at hand...Paris Hilton. This news sideshow has irritated me to no end. I've tried to keep my mouth shut about it but now, I just can't. I have to say something and present a few solutions to this problem which has reached pandemic proportions.
First let's clear the air about two things:
1. County Sheriffs run jails. Even if the deputies caught you red handed at something, the county sheriff can walk up to your cell and let you out and tell you to just go home. That's his or her jail...they can do that.
2. Judges run courtrooms and nothing else. They can make a hell of a jail sentence for you but if the sheriff sees that the place is overcrowded and you're low on the priority list of risk evaluation, they can let you go even if it gets in the judge's craw. The judge can then explode into a fit of rage but, as the Russian saying goes, "Toughshitski, Tovarisch."
Now, on to the heart of this matter:
1. Paris Hilton was rocketed into the public eye, not because of the fact that she's heiress to the Hilton Millions but because of her constant party lifestyle. When you're a public figure, you live under a microscope. You fall into two categories; A. Loved by one and all, a role model, iconic or iconoclastic or B. Hated by many. Paris has lined herself up into both. Many young teenage girls would give anything to be in Paris' place. That, to me is unfortunate. I'll go more into that later.
2. Paris Hilton was rocketed into the public eye because of her constant party lifestyle. This means that she gets intoxicated (legally speaking) any time she attends a party and proceeds (possibly) to consume my share, your share and her share of the booze that flows like open tap water at these parties. If ya ask me, she's probably buying it.
3. Paris Hilton will never know the true value of a dollar as she never has to work. Most would agree that that's a thinly-veiled way of saying she's a spoiled brat and I would have to say you're right.
4. Paris Hilton will never know the true value of an actual friend as she's bought so many.
5. Paris Hilton is not receiving a 45-day sentence for the DUI she got...she got probation for that, she violated her probation...that's what she's getting the 45-day sentence for and the thing is, she violated it nearly right out of the gate. The rhetoric about the sentence being "excessive" is complete crap. Some of us whom may have been in this particular pickle only WISH that was what we got for that type of offense. Then again, most of us might have completed our probation without incident.
6. Paris Hilton has been chauffered around more in the past two weeks than ever before. Perhaps if she had done that sooner, she might have even skated the initial arrest.
7. From what I've seen, Paris Hilton doesn't even care about her entourage much less anyone but herself and her public image.
8. Final point...I've talked about this on the show and, while it may sound sexist, blame the law, not me. I didn't write them and I really don't care to enforce it any longer than I have to. If a man goes to jail and gets out, he still has some options. They're not much, but there are options. I think things could be more effective but, as I've said, I don't write the rules. When a woman goes to jail and gets out there are even fewer options. Prison on the other hand, is far worse a fate due largely to the fact that the same thing applies but successfully completing parole is even worse because of the lack of options. What does this mean to Paris Hilton? Not a thing. She's going to come out and still be heiress to that chain of hotels, she'll still have money, she'll still have people who have a crush on her, girls that want to be her, etc.
Now, I have some solutions to this problem but let's put the media fiasco to bed. No one wants to hear these solutions but I have them.
1. Did the judge overstep his boundaries? Best believe it! Discipline him for it. Show him his place and stick him squarely in it.
2. Did the sheriff do what he thought was right for the overcrowding of the jail in Lynwood? Sure! I'm not saying that we should give him a medal but I don't think that this is something of great concern to us. Only thing I'm saying in this case is he should be a gnat more careful of the message it sends to people when he lets someone like that out, low-risk or not.
3. Send Paris Hilton up the river...yeah, state time. Lil Kim did a year for lying on the stand. You don't see a recording studio going batty and turning her next album down. Let her do 45 days worth of state time. What that does is it keeps the jail from getting overcrowded. The Sheriff won't have to worry about her and, furthermore, the judge will be well within his sentencing rights to ensure that the entire length is being served.
4. Paris Hilton can do her time like any other person in her predicament would have been made to do. The public at large can get the same sentence and you won't see anything like what happened to her happen to any of us. Better believe that someone without her money might have even entered a plea bargain to get twice the amount of that time. Better yet, this kinda nightmare will drive the point home with her, something that probation SHOULD have done. The preventative measures didn't work, maybe the pound of cure will.
Now, understand something. I don't like my job as much as I used to. I can see it's not really helping some people to straighten out. There are those that it does help but if the public sees what happens when celebrities get it in the neck when they've done something like that and have approached it with the attitude in the Entirely Wrong spectrum, perhaps some of these public figures will get the idea to shape up or get shipped off. Let's make something clear...illegal is still illegal no matter what position of power you're in or how much money you have (or don't as in our cases) and take the sum total of the equation of those above the law to what the mathemeticians call Absolute Zero.
For those of you interested in a little food for thought, the only people above the law sit on Grand Juries and Trial Juries. If you would like to prove me wrong on that, go look it up and if you find something contrary to that, let me know.
posted by Lord Genocyde at 12:01 AM
6 Comments:
I couldn't have said it better.
It's freakin simple."You do the crime,be prepared to do the time"!
She burned my ass when she said "My publicist said I could drive-or didn't say I wasn't supposed to".I don't care if you are filthy rich,or dirt poor....it's OUR responsibility to KNOW the law and what it entails/what consequences we will get if we break those laws.It's not as if she is a child that hasn't been in the driving world at all yet.
Sure...I think Paris is cool.I'm one of those peeps that would love to be in her shoes...moneywise...but your right.How do you know who a true friend is?Most of the other rich friends have that haughty-better-than-thou attitude,and are like puppets due to the media.So STILL how can you know who is a true friend,and who is just useing you for 1.)money 2.)notoriety 3.)another party animal...etc..etc..
Speaking from personal experience...I recall the day that they pulled me from my 8 month stay in jail awaiting my ride to prison.Yea,I was scared...but I couldn't even cry,cuz all I kept thinking was"I knew better".I always kept it in the back of my mind something a C.O. once told me: He said "what if we made this lock-up time fun...or easy"?Wouldn't you just get out and do the same ol' bullshit b/c your time spent was a piece of cake"? I thought long and hard about that.The harder it is...the less likely you will screw up once your released.Those memories of jail and prison will be there nagging at you and hopefully you'll stop and think before you break some more laws.
What's so sad is alot of people have Paris Hilton syndrome: "It wasn't MY FAULT"! or "Hey..I was just sitting in the crackhouse when it got busted"...and the 2 words that I heard 98% of the time"I'M INNOCENT"!
Give me a friggin break.Truth be known...I was damn lucky to only get 4 and a half years.If they knew it ALL,I'd have done more time than that.
The ONLY way to change is to get your ass out of denial and say"YES! I did it,I knew better and chose to do otherwise...so whatever my punishment is...give it to me and let's get it over with".
Nobody said it is gona be easy....but that's something we should think of before we make the conscience decision to break our state and country laws.
I'd bet the farm that you are an AWESOME prison guard D.
Just like certain conversations w/ C.O.'s come back to me every-so-often ...I'll bet there are many many ex-inmates that recall positive talks that you had with them while they were locked up.....You have a difficult job,I'm sure.Rank nags C.O.'s to be cruel sometimes...so sometimes I know it's hard to please everyone.But at least you are consistent,no matter what...and I simply adore you for that.
OK....As u can see I have deep feelings about this subject.LOL
You can wake up now dang-it!!LOL
It's not that I really have deep feelings over this particular case. It just irritated me because from the day she broke huge, I couldn't shake her...even when I DIDN'T have T.V.
No kidding...she's in my House of Wax movie so I figured, definite eye candy. I still haven't finished the movie though I'm tempted to just to see if she falls victim to the dude making everyone into a living wax sculpture. Let's face it, anyone who gives her dog away because it's "too fat" is entirely too shallow for my taste. In short, if she ever showed up for a date, I'd excuse myself to go projectile vomiting, a far more suitable pastime. Giving someone like me Paris' money may result in the same party lifestyle. Closed circle, of course. Me and all my friends in one central location (hell, I'd build a compound/studio in New Jersey and fly everyone out just for the occasion) and let the show begin...we'll have Megadeth and whoever's on this year's Gigantour for entertainment and I'll cover the thing live.
Truth is, I'm completely lousy at my job. I ask too many questions, I'm overly critical of the administration. I'm a little arrogant...I think I have better ways of doing things a lot of the time. Even harder truth: I've been in trouble at work several times. Mostly for being late but that hasn't happened in about three or four years.
Another time, I might write about the iron-fisted way I've had to handle some of these dorms. I hope and pray this construction job in Baytown clicks and works.
BTW...MORPHEUS WAKE ME UP!!!!!
Give me a break.I've known you too long to hear you say you are not good at your job.Your a smart guy,and someone w/ a heart.Yea,you can be an a*** when you get your tail feathers ruffled...but who don't?
As we both know....I've been on the other side of the law,and in prison being either flirted with by guards or degraded and put down by them....like the fuckhead that told me as I was leaving on my out-date : he said"Hey! I'll see ya back here soon"!! Well...f*** him and the horse he rode in on.It's negative peckerwoods like that(and he was a jerk ALL the time)....but those simple-minded peasents/simpletons can kiss my FINALLY tanned ass,cuz I'm STILL in the free! I can't see you making negative comments like that example....Maybe jokingly...but your not a DICK like he is,so I can't see you purposely trying to bring someone down.
hug-hug
Never seen me purposefully try to bring someone down? You've never seen me on messageboards. My cybertongue has been known to cut throats.
You're right about one thing. I don't leave them out the front gate with something as stupid as what that guy did (if you ever meet up with him, give him a kick to the nads and tell him that's from me) but I'll do it one of two ways.
1. The goodbye from the dorm usually is a handshake from me, a "good luck" and a "God be with you." Even the ones that gave me the biggest static and grief get that. Why? Well...we have enough morons that make assholes like me look bad. I think it also helps them to gain an understanding that I wasn't a tyrant without a purpose...when I had to be a tyrant that is.
2. The Front Gate Escort. This is the one you don't want me doing. That's when I open up that golf cart full-throttle and start doing things bordering on psychotic like breaking into choruses of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang as loud as I can sing it to give them that last adrenaline rush. Kinda drives the point home that this isn't the place to be with a raving lunatic like me loose in the joint.
What made me great at my job years ago is gone now, though. My heart was in it back then. Now, not so much. After seeing what the politics are like, I just can't be bothered to go on doing the job. I used to love it, now, it's just a paycheck. If I had to kill anyone, I'd be little more than a paid mercenary and that is something I've never wanted to be...ever. That's what separates the good officers from the ones that are just there to do whatever...the heart for it. That is something I simply don't have anymore. Some people got smart, they cut and ran when they could. Me...it took six and a half damn years to finally make me throw the towel in and seek other means of employment.
I'm sure you've seen your share of that before. To be honest, I do have a modicum of sympathy for most of those guys in there...they fucked up badly enough to land themselves in a pile of shit but once they're out, I'll never see them again. Met one on the streets on a day off and stood around in Wal-Mart for the better part of an hour doing a freestyle war with him...he bested me but I have to admit, we drew a crowd. Stunned the shit out of the onlookers when he still called me "Sarge" when he didn't have to.
In any case, my time for that is finished. Due to a lot of my past lives (even as a Catholic, I still believe in reincarnation) I'm trying to break a cycle and getting out of that prison is step numero uno in that book.
I do have to admit one thing, if you were under my watch, I probably would have flirted with you. Not saying that to be an asshole, it's just my nature :-)
I think it's just time for me to go elsewhere to help others who may want it. I know there are those here online that want it but it's time for me to drop the rank insignia and start really kicking off my mission as an ordained minister. I'll probably be the most foulmouthed minister in the world but hey, at least others will see the message isn't coming from someone who's pretending not to have vices.
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