The Unfunny Yes-Men (or How To Cut The Crap From Reporting)

Read This Load Of Crap Before You Catch Me Tearing It Apart

Ok, done reading that? Good because here's where the news media just messed up. That's right, Lord Genocyde caught 'em slippin. Now, whenever someone mentions this article they'll be knockin' on wood.

From the evident strain, analogies and examples they've given you must remember the one rule that applies to all writers, no matter what the medium...they write about what they know. It's apparent that these reporters didn't do their homework.

There's no revolutionaries in rock? Did I read that correctly? Was that the gist I got? It strikes me that these reporters come from an entirely different generation than I. They simply stuck to classic rock. That's It? You're going to make a claim as big as that and all you have to offer is the material that sprung up yesterday?

Ok, cut the crap right now.

First off, there was no bothering to look into the underground. Pop/mainstream culture is riddled with one of two camps in rock these days. On FM Radio, MTV, VH-1 and a sad assortment of others, all we have are classic rock and this Three Doors Down/Dave Matthews Band/Nickelback junk. Yeah, all the pro-America songs you used to hear three years ago are gone now. Why? Because people cut through the crap. Still, for an arguement like this, classic rock was all that we were offered.

I'd be willing to bet that this particular assignment was the easiest money ANYone could have earned. If you call that earning. Get Ready....because now, you get taken apart.

First off, corporate media has made no effort to bring up and break out the bands that DO have revolutionary messages to them. Bands like Poker Face, SiNDADDY, Immune System...yeah, they're underground! All you have to do is start digging on MySpace!

There are others as well! I'm not done yet. KMFDM, remember them? They're still going strong! In 1996 they wrote a song for the X-Tort album called "Dogma" in which the singer says, "We fear that pop culture is the only kind of culture we're ever gonna have/ We wanna stop reading magazines, stop watching TV, stop caring about Hollywood/But we're addicted to the things we hate." Not revolutionary enough? Oh there's more

SiNDADDY blasted out songs like "Maniamerica," "Terrorama," "The Payoff," and the scathing "Two Wrongs" which have offered their alternative viewpoints as well. Still want more? No problem.

Here's a list of band names and song titles I've compiled on-the-fly, just for the occasion:

Immune System - Weapon
Immune System - Weltanschuuang
Poker Face - Kontrol
KMFDM - New American Century
Mankind Is Obsolete - Puppet
Static-X - Start A War
Nine Inch Nails - The Hand That Feeds
Ministry - New World Order
Rage Against The Machine - Freedom
Organ - Exploited Freedom
Marilyn Manson - (s)AIN'T
Diverje - Individual
London After Midnight - Hate
Frequency Construct - Planet Genocide
The Mercy Cage - Prozac, God And The Atomic Bomb
Bio-Mechanical Degeneration - Hybridization
Things Outside The Skin - American Way
Nocturne - Whore

And That should do for starters. There are hundreds upon thousands of songs and hundreds of bands churning them out. Mainstream media has stagnated and the mosquitos from that pond have started to just make me irate. What really gets me is, as reclusive as I can be at times, as small of a town in which I live, as cut off from the rest of the world as I seem to be, I still know of these bands. I still play them. There's a whole underground movement in the works right now and it didn't take much work to find and expose some of the bands I just mentioned. I have a ton of them in my CD book and I will make guarantees to you right now that I'm the only man in this town to have this CD collection. No one else in town has it. I found them though. I did the homework and I found them.

What's unsettling is these reporters and many others will claim no knowledge in any way, shape, or form about these bands and that's not the unsettling part. I expect that, to be honest. The Truth of the matter is they'll do nothing. They'll remain uneducated and uncultured in rock and I was like them at one point. I wanted to see if there was another rock n' roll Revolution and I found one...or two...or more.

These ignorant people have no excuse.

Now, do these reporters truly wish to insult my intelligence by printing such an article that's only one brick shy of a full load?

No way. I know better.

To the reporters, educate yourselves and earn your pay or get out of reporting in the music industry.