A Ghost Upon The Stage
It's no secret that music pervades nearly all aspects of my life. I say nearly because I can't really listen to it at work like I'd like to. Still, there must be moments of silence, right?
At present, I sit here, a huge pair of headphones engulfing my ears, listening to Three Days Grace perform "I Hate Everything About You" wondering, just how music keeps me going. I've been told I'm going to some fiery hell for the music I listen to both by Christians and even a Muslim. To the Muslim with whom I discussed this at great length, he believed it didn't matter what I was listening to, that music was going to send me to hell due to some obscure Surah about Mohammed being commanded by Allah to plug his ears when he overheard someone playing a pipe of some sort. That was the entire basis for his arguement.
Let's nevermind the fact that it was the music I listened to that has kept me from the brink of near-total self-annihilation. In times of confusion, it centered me, focused me just long enough until I was clear enough in the head to figure things out for myself. When I pondered drugs, Ministry's video for "Just One Fix" convinced me otherwise. In every instance of loss, I would lose myself in some great, blasting torrent of sound that didn't hate me for getting angry or reacting by running off alone to be with my thoughts when others were breathing down my neck. The music never yelled at me over the way I looked. It helped shape the way I think. It helped me get through the scarring and the times when it seemed as though opposition were on all sides and angles of me. Music gave me hope with it wasn't present in the first place. It let me know I wasn't alone. Others out there felt all that same bullshit I was feeling or going through at the time. It let me know I didn't need permission from anyone to think or believe what I felt was right.
I think it's fair to say that it was music (Rock and it's many genres) in particular that saved my life and caused me to not go insane. It still carries on through to this very day.
It was okay to have the best time possible.
It was okay to feel pissed off when I'd been fucked around
It was okay to give a middle finger to those that were pissing me off.
It was okay to look the other way when something really offended me.
It was okay to live free to do as I want...I just had to leave people to do the same.
It wasn't okay to trample on anyone's toes.
These things, I learned from the music I listened to.
I sat there at shows watching these guys pour their hearts out on stage. I heard the songs of devastation, loss, anger, love, redemption, fear, courage and the willingness to rise above, take back what belongs to you and enjoy life. I understood what it meant to be there without ever having to experience it. I have been motivated by music to keep pushing when the shit was bad. Recently, I've found new hope and faith that there is something out there looking out for me...Something...or Someone.
I've seen the ones that work hard and push succeed. I've seen it bind the whole of us together. I've seen people that would never be associated gather with each other in one place over music...and it doesn't matter what kind. I've seen music nearly singlehandedly save the world from us and our destructive habits.
I've seen, experienced and have been privvy to the intangible power of music that lies within it.
A ban is not what we need...even if it's music that promotes a deviant idea. Why? Because, while music holds this tremendous ability within it, it's not a puppet master. If I haven't learned how to make some type of soup from a Judas Priest song (remember that they admitted to the backwards masking of a soup recipe in their music) or learn how to properly interpret a recipe in German on making muffins from a Tool song, then the arguement that it will lead me into some type of pseudo-Satanism or other deviant or abhorrent acts is ludicrous, baseless and is, therefore, bullshit.
My parents were around even though both of them worked. They did teach me right from wrong. The decision to do one or the other has alwasy been mine, not the music. Music can be a great therapist, it can even be influential to some of the decisions you make in your own life but it will never make that decision for you. To claim that it does is complete irresponsibility.
Now, as I sit here, there are ghosts upon the stage in my mind. Hundreds of them dancing and leaping about, their emotions flying with the music at wild abandon and, at those times, humankind was at it's peak. There were no divisions or boundaries, no bullshit race issues or social economics, no ethnicity or prejudice. They were all one and the same. They all united under one thing for at least one night, for better or worse. They all shared a moment and during that moment, it was all good and there was nothing to stop them.
Still, nevermind the fact that this is everything to which I've been a witness, it's all evil to them. I'm fine with that. What saddens me most is that those very same people will never know the triumph and agony, the far inner-reaches of the mind where their inner demons lie. They'll never have to face them and know the awesome power involved when you conquer them in some small way instead of running from them in wild and irrational fear. These people will never understand that and they won't know how to face them down when they do find themselves haunted.
At the end of every day...or night, as it were, for me, we all find that something to pull us through the crap as others are want to contribute to the stress of the daily grind. Why? Because we refuse to run. We refuse to back down.
I leave you with this:
"Through the worst
We prevail
So our voices will be heard..."
Hatebreed "I Will Be Heard"
At present, I sit here, a huge pair of headphones engulfing my ears, listening to Three Days Grace perform "I Hate Everything About You" wondering, just how music keeps me going. I've been told I'm going to some fiery hell for the music I listen to both by Christians and even a Muslim. To the Muslim with whom I discussed this at great length, he believed it didn't matter what I was listening to, that music was going to send me to hell due to some obscure Surah about Mohammed being commanded by Allah to plug his ears when he overheard someone playing a pipe of some sort. That was the entire basis for his arguement.
Let's nevermind the fact that it was the music I listened to that has kept me from the brink of near-total self-annihilation. In times of confusion, it centered me, focused me just long enough until I was clear enough in the head to figure things out for myself. When I pondered drugs, Ministry's video for "Just One Fix" convinced me otherwise. In every instance of loss, I would lose myself in some great, blasting torrent of sound that didn't hate me for getting angry or reacting by running off alone to be with my thoughts when others were breathing down my neck. The music never yelled at me over the way I looked. It helped shape the way I think. It helped me get through the scarring and the times when it seemed as though opposition were on all sides and angles of me. Music gave me hope with it wasn't present in the first place. It let me know I wasn't alone. Others out there felt all that same bullshit I was feeling or going through at the time. It let me know I didn't need permission from anyone to think or believe what I felt was right.
I think it's fair to say that it was music (Rock and it's many genres) in particular that saved my life and caused me to not go insane. It still carries on through to this very day.
It was okay to have the best time possible.
It was okay to feel pissed off when I'd been fucked around
It was okay to give a middle finger to those that were pissing me off.
It was okay to look the other way when something really offended me.
It was okay to live free to do as I want...I just had to leave people to do the same.
It wasn't okay to trample on anyone's toes.
These things, I learned from the music I listened to.
I sat there at shows watching these guys pour their hearts out on stage. I heard the songs of devastation, loss, anger, love, redemption, fear, courage and the willingness to rise above, take back what belongs to you and enjoy life. I understood what it meant to be there without ever having to experience it. I have been motivated by music to keep pushing when the shit was bad. Recently, I've found new hope and faith that there is something out there looking out for me...Something...or Someone.
I've seen the ones that work hard and push succeed. I've seen it bind the whole of us together. I've seen people that would never be associated gather with each other in one place over music...and it doesn't matter what kind. I've seen music nearly singlehandedly save the world from us and our destructive habits.
I've seen, experienced and have been privvy to the intangible power of music that lies within it.
A ban is not what we need...even if it's music that promotes a deviant idea. Why? Because, while music holds this tremendous ability within it, it's not a puppet master. If I haven't learned how to make some type of soup from a Judas Priest song (remember that they admitted to the backwards masking of a soup recipe in their music) or learn how to properly interpret a recipe in German on making muffins from a Tool song, then the arguement that it will lead me into some type of pseudo-Satanism or other deviant or abhorrent acts is ludicrous, baseless and is, therefore, bullshit.
My parents were around even though both of them worked. They did teach me right from wrong. The decision to do one or the other has alwasy been mine, not the music. Music can be a great therapist, it can even be influential to some of the decisions you make in your own life but it will never make that decision for you. To claim that it does is complete irresponsibility.
Now, as I sit here, there are ghosts upon the stage in my mind. Hundreds of them dancing and leaping about, their emotions flying with the music at wild abandon and, at those times, humankind was at it's peak. There were no divisions or boundaries, no bullshit race issues or social economics, no ethnicity or prejudice. They were all one and the same. They all united under one thing for at least one night, for better or worse. They all shared a moment and during that moment, it was all good and there was nothing to stop them.
Still, nevermind the fact that this is everything to which I've been a witness, it's all evil to them. I'm fine with that. What saddens me most is that those very same people will never know the triumph and agony, the far inner-reaches of the mind where their inner demons lie. They'll never have to face them and know the awesome power involved when you conquer them in some small way instead of running from them in wild and irrational fear. These people will never understand that and they won't know how to face them down when they do find themselves haunted.
At the end of every day...or night, as it were, for me, we all find that something to pull us through the crap as others are want to contribute to the stress of the daily grind. Why? Because we refuse to run. We refuse to back down.
I leave you with this:
"Through the worst
We prevail
So our voices will be heard..."
Hatebreed "I Will Be Heard"
posted by Lord Genocyde at 4:34 AM
1 Comments:
I know exactly what you mean by music being a big part of your life.My kids tease me b/c my cars have always had that thump.I've had Mitch's Car Audio put in competition stereo equipment in all my cars since I was a teenager.Sometimes I've wrecked one car and had all my things transferred to the next car,like when I wrecked my KIA.I don't believe in just having it for show,like the fact that I rattle the tin at the gas stations....I want to FEEL the music,and not really interested in just having the BOOM to be noticed.Haven't you heard some cars that you can hear coming waaaay down the road,but yet if you got inside the car,you have shit for mids and highs?What a crock.
When I test a new amp,12's in the back,tweeters etc....I always put in AC/DC.If you can hear them and feel the bass,and I can't talk to whoever is riding with me...then I'm OK with the new system.My kids and friends-n-family have learned all the hand signals to avoid turning down the music.Sounds crazy,but you just have to put your hand sort of on the middle of the dash and motion things out like:rolling up or down a window.Pointing the hand signals for left,right,or straight ahead etc..But reaching down and turning a good song down sux.So if they turn it down,I know it's something important they want to talk about.lol
I guess because growing up in such a dramatic/crazy household,and not just one....I never stayed in one place for more than a few months or so at a time.Girls homes,foster home,group homes,family members,etc...The ONE thing I could always count on was being able to tune life out by listening to my tunes.It was and still is like a drug to me,because it can be extremely mood altering.I can be in a bad mood and one song will turn that mood around.
Music has and always will be a part of my life.
Post a Comment
<< Home