Episode 101: Perhaps I Was A Bit Too Prejudgmental...

I feel I was wrong and I feel that I have to say so. Sometime ago I posted my doubts about the new Rambo and Indiana Jones movies. It seems that George Lucas, Steven Spielberg and ol' Sly have given me a huge shitburger to eat. The good thing about eating a massive pile of failure in judgment is that it's only the first couple bites that are the worst.

The new movie out in theaters Indiana Jones And The Kingdom of The Crystal Skulls was especially impressive but with one huge mistake. While I haven't studied up on The Crystal Skulls beyond the fact that there's one that sits in The British Museum and The Mitchell-Hedges Skull is travelling the world with the supposed discoverer's daughter (believe me when I say this...the story of The Mitchell-Hedges skull is convoluted to say the least), I have studied up on the mysterious lost city allegedly located in Brazil and it's not called Akator, as erroneously stated in the movie. It's called Akakor. This city has not been completely documented in the least and while it does seem to be a fact that it does, indeed, exist, no one's really made it in that deeply to the heart of the Amazon Jungle to document and verify it's existence aside from those Amazonian natives who claim to know of it's whereabouts and it's existence. Really, it was the only small fact that I noticed in the film that was completely off-base. There are other parts of the movie that I can't talk about because I don't want to ruin the film with spoilers but I will say that Harrison Ford's age was played upon in the script as a point for comic relief. As well, the character of Marion Ravenwood is back though you might remember her being portrayed by Karen Allen in Raiders of The Lost Ark though it's not the only reference to the first film. By the way, for those of you who actually did buy the Indiana Jones Adventure Pack which was the boxed set in slim cases of the original trilogy, take out that first one again. Check out the title. They didn't bother changing it when they remastered the film but it's there. On the cover, it now reads Indiana Jones And The Raiders of The Lost Ark. Call me a bit of a nerd but I thought it was fine at the original title.

Rambo was another that was equally as impressive and I was dead wrong again. Stallone didn't kill the bad guys with bad one liners. He managed to keep bad one liners from killing his audience as well. Matter of fact, Stallone barely talked through the whole film. I will say this though, even for his age, he still proved to be in pretty damned good shape running all over the place through a hotter-than-hell jungle in Thailand. Now, I've said that the first film was the most realistic. Let me revise my previous statement to now include exculpatory information that is NOT hearsay. The first and fourth films were the most realistic. Again, like the others, this film was made and released independently and it brought up a situation I'd only ever heard of. As most of my friends know, I grew up Catholic. Our local priest, Father Bluum, had mentioned Burma to us quite a bit but never went into specific detail (unless you count the story in which a Burmese soldier had held a gun to his head) and this was a situation that was VERY near and dear to him. Apparently, it's an issue of importance to Stallone too and, even though the atrocity of the situation in Burma is toned down for the movie...this is still one of the most violent movies ever made. Did I like it? Damned right I did!

Now, off of Rambo for a minute and on to Burma or what's known as the Union of Myanmar. Burma had become independent of the UK on January 4, 1948. From there, an oppressive, military regime took over and began literally brutalizing it's own people. Young, able-bodied boys were simply snatched from their home towns in the dead of night and drafted to become soldiers in the Burmese army. Entire villages were burned. The government began also treating the Buddhist Monks as though they were sub-human. What we would consider the most minor of offenses here are punishable over in Myanmar without trial or charge by lengthy prison sentences or even death. Numerous Christian Missionaries who go there are sometimes never seen nor heard from again. Their offense? Helping Karen Refugees. There is a rebellion over there in the form of the Karen Rebel Army but it seems that the huge government regime is much too powerful for now. These people have even made killing their own people a sport. The two links that the movie espouses are http://www.usacampaignforburma.org/ and http://www.freeburmacoalition.org/ and now, I'm somewhat happy that Stallone made that film. I don't see it as something commercially successful. I think Stallone had something he really believed in and took action on it. Now, I know what you're thinking...What Can I Do? I'm Just One Person and blah, blah, blah.

Well let me fill you in on a little something. The Myanmar Government is SCARED SHITLESS of the new Rambo film. Simply Viewing a bootleg copy can land you in prison for 10 to 20 years and distributing a bootleg copy of it will get you automatic life. No trial, no charge. Just snatched up and in a bamboo cage you go. Do not pass Go, Do Not Collect Jack Shit. Now, if Stallone can WRITE something (let's not belabor the fact that he directed the thing) and scare the shit out of them that way...then YOU can do a little something...even if it's minor. Doesn't have to be huge.

Now, why did I save the most important part for last? Because...IT CAN HAPPEN HERE! The fact that you may think it can't is bullshit...it's wishful thinking. Today alone we hit a huge and historic landmark ruling with people in Washington D.C. now being able to own handguns for home defense. I say it's time we started taking full advantage of this. It's the only thing that's kept our own government in check for so long. Though many unjust laws are passed and even more unjust rulings are handed down each day, I ask you, don't you think that a criminal with a history of violence (and how many of those do we have in congress alone? The estimates might surprise you) would think twice about breaking into a home where he knows or even thinks a gun resides? I know one thing. If I were a violent criminal and I knew that, by law, you couldn't own a gun...you're a prime target if not a repeat target.

Digression from my previous argument aside, sure, no one needs a full-auto SKS or AK-47 to go hunting but our own military is equipped with the latest technology that would rival even the Predator from the movies. They, like the Predator, have thermal imaging, nightvision, Electromagnetic Resonance Imaging, powerful ordinance, etc. We as states and individuals have the right to form militias and train, regulate ourselves and have access to the same types of ordinance that these guys have. Why? Well, the framers of our Constitution asked the same question after we kicked The British back across the pond. Who Will Protect US From The "Protectors?" We hear about it every day, police brutality, crooked cops on the take, dishonest career politicians and, though we like to think that we have moral and ethical obligations before all else...money is to what people are truly loyal.

While I do not advocate violence as a solution to our problems, I say that it's damned nice to have an insurance policy lying around. That old "Ace In The Hole" so to speak. Same principle as having a rubber in the wallet...better to have it and never need it than need it and never have it. If you still want to settle the old handgun debate, I say see the first Indiana Jones film again. You know the scene. Egyptian dude comes out of the crowd, whipping around a huge Scimitar...that's a sword, to you, and Indy shoots him dead with a revolver. End of story. Threat - Equalizer - Survivor...three-step process.

Before you start spewing out statistics at me, let me ask you if you know what types of questions are being specifically asked in order to get those statistics? Furthermore, there's the old saying by Mark Twain, "There are three types of lies in this world; Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics."