I Am The Ghost of Sparta...I Am Kratos!
Friday, March 14, 2008...
I've been waiting for this day. Two of my roomies and I had just finished up our grocery shopping at WalMart. Now, it was merely steps away from the GameStop to pick up my copy of God of War: Chains of Olympus and not even that red-headed nerd with that fruity little ponytail was gonna stop me.
Decked out in black swat team style boots, my camo pants, and TopSecretTraining.com t-shirt and my favorite pair of shades...I lit up and started bullcharging through WalMart's parking lot. Cars stopped short and honked as I traversed the lot.
Fuck off, pal...today I'm not taking some nerd's bullshit and your car is nothing more than a pile of scrap Detroit steel and fiberglass if I stop for any reason. I had it on my mind. Persians would die in scores...or others would. Choice was theirs. I walked past rows smoking and looking around. Today was not the day.
Attica would be dark and blood would be deep and I have a basilisk to defeat and many miles to go before I sleep. Did you hear that, ladies and gentlemen? Many Miles To Go Before I Sleep...
GameStop was opening and opening the gates was that fuckin' nerd again.
Amazingly, I said nothing...my game was already on the counter. Guess he saw me comin. Once everything had been broken down. I paid out the $13 remainder and walked out with my game. I walked out for the last time, stuffing the game into the left leg pocket of my pants. I've got an inside guy working in the GameStop in the mall now. I don't need The Nerd anymore.
Upon getting home and paying off some other bills, I popped in the game. That epic music filled my ears and my only disappointment was that I'd have to play The Attica Battle all over again to get anywhere else in the game. When I got the Demo, that's all it was...the first part of the Battle At Attica.
I went on what critics would call a raging, roaring, theatre de mass destruction. Let the bodies hit the floor...let the living suffer my wrath...dying is not an option. I found that, once I was done beating the Basilisk like it was my little bitch and flattening that big Persian's head with a chest fulla gold...there were two women in a cage who were more than willing to provide Kratos a little "relief" if you know what I mean. Attica's under siege, there's a pissed-off basilisk running amok blowing fire all over these people and wrecking beautiful marble buildings and I'm the one that's getting laid. I fucking love this anti-hero schtick.
Once the Battle at Attica's finished and the Basilisk is destroyed, then I'm left feeling a little bereft. Now what do I do? Well, it's not over...apparently, the sun falls, Morpheus takes over and I get to hear about the titan, Atlas, kidnapping Helios, The Sun God. What this means is a damned long quest to restore the sun. Great.
Despite assurances that the nightmares would be removed from Kratos' head, he's just going through the game. At least, that's what I'm doing...driving this one-man weapon of mass-destruction through to the next level until...FUCKOLA! The goddamned battery died.
It just got done recharging.
The Ghost of Sparta Lives!
I've been waiting for this day. Two of my roomies and I had just finished up our grocery shopping at WalMart. Now, it was merely steps away from the GameStop to pick up my copy of God of War: Chains of Olympus and not even that red-headed nerd with that fruity little ponytail was gonna stop me.
Decked out in black swat team style boots, my camo pants, and TopSecretTraining.com t-shirt and my favorite pair of shades...I lit up and started bullcharging through WalMart's parking lot. Cars stopped short and honked as I traversed the lot.
Fuck off, pal...today I'm not taking some nerd's bullshit and your car is nothing more than a pile of scrap Detroit steel and fiberglass if I stop for any reason. I had it on my mind. Persians would die in scores...or others would. Choice was theirs. I walked past rows smoking and looking around. Today was not the day.
Attica would be dark and blood would be deep and I have a basilisk to defeat and many miles to go before I sleep. Did you hear that, ladies and gentlemen? Many Miles To Go Before I Sleep...
GameStop was opening and opening the gates was that fuckin' nerd again.
Amazingly, I said nothing...my game was already on the counter. Guess he saw me comin. Once everything had been broken down. I paid out the $13 remainder and walked out with my game. I walked out for the last time, stuffing the game into the left leg pocket of my pants. I've got an inside guy working in the GameStop in the mall now. I don't need The Nerd anymore.
Upon getting home and paying off some other bills, I popped in the game. That epic music filled my ears and my only disappointment was that I'd have to play The Attica Battle all over again to get anywhere else in the game. When I got the Demo, that's all it was...the first part of the Battle At Attica.
I went on what critics would call a raging, roaring, theatre de mass destruction. Let the bodies hit the floor...let the living suffer my wrath...dying is not an option. I found that, once I was done beating the Basilisk like it was my little bitch and flattening that big Persian's head with a chest fulla gold...there were two women in a cage who were more than willing to provide Kratos a little "relief" if you know what I mean. Attica's under siege, there's a pissed-off basilisk running amok blowing fire all over these people and wrecking beautiful marble buildings and I'm the one that's getting laid. I fucking love this anti-hero schtick.
Once the Battle at Attica's finished and the Basilisk is destroyed, then I'm left feeling a little bereft. Now what do I do? Well, it's not over...apparently, the sun falls, Morpheus takes over and I get to hear about the titan, Atlas, kidnapping Helios, The Sun God. What this means is a damned long quest to restore the sun. Great.
Despite assurances that the nightmares would be removed from Kratos' head, he's just going through the game. At least, that's what I'm doing...driving this one-man weapon of mass-destruction through to the next level until...FUCKOLA! The goddamned battery died.
It just got done recharging.
The Ghost of Sparta Lives!
posted by Lord Genocyde at 1:14 AM
1 Comments:
I love it. All Hale the Ghost of Sparta, Kratos, soon to be God of War!!!
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