Episode 33: Ridicule And Laughter

Warning: The information contained within this particular blog may shock you and even offend you. Not that that's ever stopped me before.

Seriously, people, it's time for a reality check. When it comes to technology, I've had my old standbys. I still love my small radio but I'm happy that it uses dynamo or solar power and half the time, I don't even need the antenna. I still love pushing buttons but touchscreen technology still fascinates me. I love my VCR even though I know that my tapes will degenerate over time. I still love my DVD player and refuse to buy all those movies again on Blu-Ray but even though I've got all that, I know I'm going to have to do one very painful thing...upgrade my equipment at some point.

So imagine my reaction to half the technonomorons out there that honestly and genuinely believe that they can use new equipment with that 20-year-old sound system. Uh uh...ain't a happenin' and here's why.

Everyone would like a nicer picture and sharper sound and that's perfectly doable but guess what? It's gonna take new equipment to make that happen. That means that the stereo system you buy for your house today might be nice but don't expect a future component to work with it ten years down the road. There's nothing ridiculous about it, it's just how it is. If you really must have an adapter, then you're going to reduce the quality of one of the signals and the new technology isn't made for that. Keep that in mind.

I also understand that some of you would like an iPod sync cable for less than $20. Bare minimum, to buy it at any brick and mortar store...it's gonna cost $20 and $30 for a charger. Why so expensive? Well, let's put it this way, the part that plugs into your computer or your wall, that's the part that might cost ya about $8, it's that other end...the one with the 30-pin connection...that's Apple's proprietary end and they get royalties for it. Always, always, always take that into consideration when you're buying an iPod of any sort. If that doesn't appeal to you, don't buy it. A little word to the wise; if you ever want to spend way less than that, you can. Ordering it for pennies on the dollar on the web outta Hong Kong is going to be your route but once one of those pins breaks, remember this...you get what you pay for.

Now, I do have a request for producers of consumer-based electronics; SLOW THE HELL DOWN! You don't need to spout a new device like Stallone produces bad one-liners in his movies.

How about another request for you. Ask what your customers will actually want. Yes, I'm talking to YOU Apple. Let's take your iPad for example. Utter Shite. Basically, it's a big iPod Touch and the only way to put it online is either by Wi-Fi or by popping it onto AT&T's overburdened 3G Network. They're right about one thing on Apple's Website...the fact that the thing is close to $500! It's a pretty unbelievable price alright. I can't believe anyone would actually pay that much for a device that primarily relies on aesthetics. Apple fans, look, spend half that and get an iPod Touch. It's a lot less bulky and it does all the same stuff. Apple, couldn't you have designed something a little better? I mean, if you wanted something really revolutionary, how about adding expandable memory, a user-replaceable battery, maybe...hell, I dunno something other than an oversized iPod Touch?

Consumers, let me tell you what. If you really want something like this, let me offer you an alternative that is every bit as good and nowhere near as restrictive.

iPod Touch: Same thing just smaller if you absolutely MUST be one of Apple's hordes of "individuals."

Archos 5: This internet tablet is slightly larger but it uses the Android operating system. What this means is that you can develop things for it yourself and the speeds on Wi-Fi speeds are awesome. Even if you're not a developer of sorts, you can still get 70% of the apps on the Android Market for free. It also has a slot for an expandable Micro SD Card. It comes with 8GB for storage space but you could beef it up to 16GB easily.

Cowon S9: It looks like an iPod Touch and somewhat works like one but it costs about ten bucks more than, say, an iPod Nano. Not bad.

Take it from me...there are plenty of alternatives.

One thing I do have to request of all of you who read this....Put Passwords on Your Phones Now. Police are now performing warrantless searches of cellphones and, so far, Ohio is the only state requiring police to search your phone WITH a warrant. If you password protect your phone, then you have a reasonable expectation of privacy.