Episode 53: A Good Church Is Hard To Find
Rarely, if ever, do I write on the subject of religion. Organized religion to me has always met with distaste. I never could stand how a group of people could get together with such vital, important information and then form a hierarchy to decide how, when or even IF that knowledge would be disseminated. It's simply disgraceful. Still, that's not the point of this particular article in the least.
I've attended everything from the Southern Catholic Churches with dirgelike music and oppressive overtones (and they still wonder how I became a goth?) and even attended Baptist Churches in the south which seemed like a lot of self-aggrandizement followed by the social Who's Who of The Backslidden. Oh how the gossip doth flow! I've been to the backyard spiral dances, the bonfires, seances and have even performed ceremonies in my own living room. Others got uncomfortable about it but the way I saw it, fuck 'em. I paid the bills there, they were just visiting and they weren't MY guests anyway.
Now, in my older age, I've calmed down, grown up, looked inward and sought out. I went back to Catholicism and it's been many a year since my last confession. Do I own a bible? You bet I do! I have at least one on every device I own with a screen and two in hard copy. Modern technology is truly a miracle. I can read something without catching flack for it. If I want to read some Conspiracy Theory title, then that's my decision. If I want to read my bible in a Dunkin Donuts while having my tuna melt bagel and tea, then bugger off! I'm not reading it to you and besides....there's a message in there I gotta go get. If you want one I'm sure they're easy enough to find, just have the Gideons mail you one. They'll happily do it. By the way has anyone seen this Clan of Christian Ninjas? I'm thinking about staging an ambush just to see what a Gideon looks like.
Now churches in the Northwest are far different than the ones in the deep South. A Catholic Church in the Deep South tends to be very very ominous most of the time and, most times, depressing. You can hear it in the music. The music takes a low, solemn turn even if some people attempt to sing in operatic tones. A Catholic Church in the Northwest features the exact same hymns, rites and ceremonies but there is something different. Much like a Baptist church in the South...there's LIFE there! No one scolds you for having that little smile on your face as you hear the Priest's sermon and think, "Now...how in the world did he know that's what I was going through? Where are the cameras? This has got to be a setup!" The priest's humor is, most often, self-depricating. The same deep seated self-loathing exists in just about every Catholic Church there is but with the ones in the Northwest, they find their unworthiness and their wretched dispositions not only damnable to hell, but every bit as funny as can be. Shortcomings are every bit of what these churches are about here. Here, they take you because the guy who walks in looking like an axe murderer today, will probably look like an axe murderer many many years from now but he's right with The Lord Almighty and the fact that he looks as menacing as he does, means precisely squat.
There's life to the music. It's a bit more upbeat and lively, as though there is cause to celebrate. Let's face it, you were on your way into the Lake of Fire wearing Petroleum-Based undergarments and then the Lord died to save you from that. I'd say that's God's way of turning a frown upside-down. Then, there's the fact that most of the clergy will speak with you as though you're just an every day normal person. And you can speak to them in the same way. It's candid and open conversation and even if they don't understand your problem...they make every attempt.
Yes, I think the Northeast has the Church problem pretty much solved. There's a nice church not too far from where I live and I've decided it's high time I started attending. I went today and saw this small, dark, man from India with a thick accent address the congregation. Then...he erupted into song and this gargantuan voice boomed from this man. So much so that he'd actually stood back from the podium to sing by at least two good strides and that voice was heard both over the speakers and OVER the speakers. A voice that big in a man that small...amazing stuff.
Then again, throughout that entire sermon, I have to say that I grinned. I was genuinely happy to hear what the Priest had to say. It addressed recent concerns, unknowingly gave advice that made sense and then helped me to formulate exactly how quickly I was going to implement the little plan I'd cooked up in my mind. Oh yeah...I'm on like Donkey Kong! Praise God! I'm on like Donkey Kong!
By the way, carve that on my tombstone and watch me pull a ONE day resurrection for someone to give ME an explanation.
I've got Misty, a lifelong devout Catholic herself, guiding me through this again. I kinda feel a little lost though it is familiar territory. When you have a good guide and a good scout, you can go just about anywhere.
The Deep South only ever needs to look to the Greater Philadelphia Area for advice about how a good church should be conducted and then I wouldn't think that attendance would be an issue anyway.
In closing, Thank You Lord For Thinkin' 'Bout Me. I'm Alive And Doin' Fine!
Sincerely,
Damien V. Cross
Night City, NJ
I've attended everything from the Southern Catholic Churches with dirgelike music and oppressive overtones (and they still wonder how I became a goth?) and even attended Baptist Churches in the south which seemed like a lot of self-aggrandizement followed by the social Who's Who of The Backslidden. Oh how the gossip doth flow! I've been to the backyard spiral dances, the bonfires, seances and have even performed ceremonies in my own living room. Others got uncomfortable about it but the way I saw it, fuck 'em. I paid the bills there, they were just visiting and they weren't MY guests anyway.
Now, in my older age, I've calmed down, grown up, looked inward and sought out. I went back to Catholicism and it's been many a year since my last confession. Do I own a bible? You bet I do! I have at least one on every device I own with a screen and two in hard copy. Modern technology is truly a miracle. I can read something without catching flack for it. If I want to read some Conspiracy Theory title, then that's my decision. If I want to read my bible in a Dunkin Donuts while having my tuna melt bagel and tea, then bugger off! I'm not reading it to you and besides....there's a message in there I gotta go get. If you want one I'm sure they're easy enough to find, just have the Gideons mail you one. They'll happily do it. By the way has anyone seen this Clan of Christian Ninjas? I'm thinking about staging an ambush just to see what a Gideon looks like.
Now churches in the Northwest are far different than the ones in the deep South. A Catholic Church in the Deep South tends to be very very ominous most of the time and, most times, depressing. You can hear it in the music. The music takes a low, solemn turn even if some people attempt to sing in operatic tones. A Catholic Church in the Northwest features the exact same hymns, rites and ceremonies but there is something different. Much like a Baptist church in the South...there's LIFE there! No one scolds you for having that little smile on your face as you hear the Priest's sermon and think, "Now...how in the world did he know that's what I was going through? Where are the cameras? This has got to be a setup!" The priest's humor is, most often, self-depricating. The same deep seated self-loathing exists in just about every Catholic Church there is but with the ones in the Northwest, they find their unworthiness and their wretched dispositions not only damnable to hell, but every bit as funny as can be. Shortcomings are every bit of what these churches are about here. Here, they take you because the guy who walks in looking like an axe murderer today, will probably look like an axe murderer many many years from now but he's right with The Lord Almighty and the fact that he looks as menacing as he does, means precisely squat.
There's life to the music. It's a bit more upbeat and lively, as though there is cause to celebrate. Let's face it, you were on your way into the Lake of Fire wearing Petroleum-Based undergarments and then the Lord died to save you from that. I'd say that's God's way of turning a frown upside-down. Then, there's the fact that most of the clergy will speak with you as though you're just an every day normal person. And you can speak to them in the same way. It's candid and open conversation and even if they don't understand your problem...they make every attempt.
Yes, I think the Northeast has the Church problem pretty much solved. There's a nice church not too far from where I live and I've decided it's high time I started attending. I went today and saw this small, dark, man from India with a thick accent address the congregation. Then...he erupted into song and this gargantuan voice boomed from this man. So much so that he'd actually stood back from the podium to sing by at least two good strides and that voice was heard both over the speakers and OVER the speakers. A voice that big in a man that small...amazing stuff.
Then again, throughout that entire sermon, I have to say that I grinned. I was genuinely happy to hear what the Priest had to say. It addressed recent concerns, unknowingly gave advice that made sense and then helped me to formulate exactly how quickly I was going to implement the little plan I'd cooked up in my mind. Oh yeah...I'm on like Donkey Kong! Praise God! I'm on like Donkey Kong!
By the way, carve that on my tombstone and watch me pull a ONE day resurrection for someone to give ME an explanation.
I've got Misty, a lifelong devout Catholic herself, guiding me through this again. I kinda feel a little lost though it is familiar territory. When you have a good guide and a good scout, you can go just about anywhere.
The Deep South only ever needs to look to the Greater Philadelphia Area for advice about how a good church should be conducted and then I wouldn't think that attendance would be an issue anyway.
In closing, Thank You Lord For Thinkin' 'Bout Me. I'm Alive And Doin' Fine!
Sincerely,
Damien V. Cross
Night City, NJ
posted by Lord Genocyde at 1:15 AM
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