Say Hello To My Little Friends II: Meet The Robots

In my initial post about my little friends here, I just took a group photo of the newer five. Well with a little searching, five of the old crew decided to join in finally (that means I found 'em in a box under the bed. Let's meet and greet them one and all.

1. Hahli

The obvious Assassin of the group, Hahli sort of thinks of himself as a gargoyle. He's often perched somewhere, ready to spring into the air for some airstrikes. His targeting is the much lamented subject of enemy lore and, when out of ammo, he's not above doing the old tactic of dive, snatch, lift and drop. He's kind of a dark personality and tends to hide in the shadows. Most of the others think he's got too much of a flair for the dramatic but as Hahli likes to state to his defense, "It works. Deal with it."

2. Kongu

When you absolutely, positively, need something fucked up in the worst kinda way, accept no substitute. Kongu was build with twin cannons and an extremely intimidating fighting style...all-out, full-scale frontal assault of the merciless kind. Kongu has become legendary for his collateral damage that he causes. As Kongu has stated in response to the criticism of his tactics, "There is nothing terrifying about a dead motherfucker..."

3. Jaller

Jaller is, put simply, a thug. Jaller modified his cannon to resemble a pit bull, emulating rapper DMX. During fights, he's been known to blast "Where Da Hood At?" from his vocal speakers. Jaller has every song (bootleg and otherwise) from DMX's catalog and has even named his cannon pet Boomer. Once Boomer runs out of ammo, you'll catch the most brutal hacking and slashing of your life. Jaller's active matrix (his central processing unit) is quick to overheating, similar to human anger and once Jaller cuts loose...be somewhere else. True to his color, he is the firebrand of the group.


4. Hewkii

Hewkii redesigned his own mask after intercepting transmissions of the film Predator. While not exactly trained in stealth, his fighting ability and enemy elimination remain unmatched. Once he runs out of ammunition, you could get in a little closer but it's not recommended. As Hewkii has stated many times, "Hunters aren't born...they're made."

5. Nuparu

Nuparu never has the tactical advantage...he takes it. The only droid of the group to sport a shield, unless you fly or just blast everything within a ten-mile radius, you stay behind Nuparu. Always running every possible worst case scenario through his active matrix, Nuparu dares to go where all others fear to tread. The only weakness Nuparu has is that he never seems to watch his back. Through his record of all battles in military history, Nuparu has adopted the policy of never running away. When faced with danger, you can hear him shout an old Spartan battlecry as his shield is placed. "AHH OOOH!"

6. Nokama

If it's on land, Nokama can handle it. If it's in water, Nokama becomes the fiercest underwater warrior ever created. Nokama stands as one of the few with a supreme versatility in almost any terrain but he has the homefield advantage in any body of water. Chances are, if you've used the water to take refuge, you may have placed yourself in a very wet grave. Nokama's primary specialty is similar to that of a human neuroses. Nokama has developed an almost annoying tendency to give everyone the statistical probability of any and every situation...whether they want to hear it or not. Irritating data computation aside, Nokama still serves as a loyal and avid warrior and possesses a unique sonar capability.

7. Pohatu

Pohatu is the guy you want in your corner. In impossible situations, Pohatu comes through to save any of his teammates in trouble. Pohatu is almost always assigned to Nuparu to watch his back. Pohatu's claws have been known to make the difference in a teammate being unceremoniously disassembled by incoming fire and making it through a firefight. Pohatu also has the propensity for being the guy who has no "fear" and running headlong at any enemy with a long-range weapon. Pohatu is also known for being particularly hard to target due to his incredible speed.

8. Ona

If ever a mechanical being were ever accused of being out of time, Ona would be a likely candidate. Ona's view of long-range weapons is that they're clumsy and uncivilized. Ona's tactics are similar to feudal Japan's ancient Samurai but his speed and versatility suggest the training of the ninja. Ona fashioned two large blades that more resemble pirates' scimitars than katanas but the way Ona wields them resembles a blender. Unless you're a vegetable ready to become part of a salad, don't cross him. Though unconfirmed, rumor has it that Ona has collected the heads of many opposition leaders. His constant references to honor in battle lend some credence to the claims.

9 & 10. Rorzakh and Varzakh

Nearly inseparable Rorzakh (red, standing) and Varzakh (yellow, spider form) use their symbiosis to decieve, disrupt, dominate and destroy any and all opposition. Dubbed "The Twins" by the rest of the group, they act as such. The versatility factor on the Twins remain unmatched. Both can engage in combat standing bipedal or completely contort themselves into near-spider formation to enhance a sort of pseudo-psychological advantage. While each is a well-trained weapon of mass destruction in single combat, the two seem to optimize their skills when working together as one unit. A few on the team have stated that, in combat, these two have it down to an art.

Now that I am a completely confirmed nerd, I'm out to do laundry. Later!