Episode 106: The Rise of Deadpool
I've been joining other community forums and such undercover for awhile. It helps to "don a ninja suit" on occasion and just go away from it all. Posting under another name with another group of people for some other purpose kinda takes the pain away of being Lord Genocyde.
Being Lord Genocyde is more painful than you might imagine. For starters, Lord Genocyde was created as a means of amplifying all that is going wrong with the world. If you've checked out the latest Batman movies, you know that Batman was working toward a world that didn't need him. That's been the goal here. You'd think that my own detractors would get that but sadly, most of them wouldn't get a pre-school-level joke if it were explained to them in painstaking detail.
Most people seem to think that, if it weren't for all the things that I'd been talking about on the show prior to our departure from Darkside Radio, I would simply be destroyed from having nothing to do. Actually, that's not true and I've already proven it.
First thing I did when we quit was take some time off. I didn't listen to anything having to deal with our normal show material. I didn't look at anything relating to 9/11, the economy, the joke that is Election '08...none of it. I didn't even look at NIST's report regarding Building 7. Not because it was my time off...but because I think even a fourth-grader could have predicted the outcome of that one (and I think it would have been better if a fourth-grader had written it with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny as having been the cause of the collapse)...and it was my time off. I stayed away from it all. I wanted to see just how well I'd do without having to be Lord Genocyde for about a month.
Know how it felt? Some will speculate that I went nuts. Others will say that I ended up bored. Still more will shout that I had nearly died from some supposed self-infliction.
Nope, it felt pretty damned awesome. No responsibilities, no bullshit, no constantly hearing some maladjusted dickhead screaming shit at me over IMs or MySpace about how I deserve to be locked in some prison Amnesty International doesn't know about because I'm such a "conspiracy theorist." Those people have a lot to fear when they're calling for measures like that, don't they? I wonder what they're so afraid of if I'm so damn wrong?
Digression aside...it felt great. I sat around watching movies from time to time. I surfed the net for porn, went to work out, went to the movies a couple of times, had chinese food one night, drove around listening to Professor Ronald Mallett talk about time travel, reviewed more close combat training material, shouldered a troublesome roomie out of the picture...the works. I had a great time not having to do shit on MY time off.
A world without Lord Genocyde felt awesome to me. Damien just kicked around doing his thing...living about the closest thing to a "normal" life that he had ever hoped to live.
Still, I wish this story had a happy ending that Lord Genocyde was finally laid to rest or went back home and never returned and Damien IMed, emailed and chatted into a virtual sunset.
I wish.
It isn't that I don't enjoy internet radio...I enjoy that immensely. It's like Batman enjoys being able to scare criminals using the suit, the ninja skills, the gadgets, gizmos, the Tumbler, The motorcycle and all that but what he doesn't like...and the part that tears him up is seeing what the victimization is like...what the effect is on the people that he's trying to protect. I enjoy internet radio and talking on the air, presenting the new music, bullshitting with you all but it's the bad news that I have to illustrate and the fact that the effects are being so vastly felt while still being largely denied. That's the part that kills me.
So I put on my own Ninja suit and went skulking around other parts under a name few will know...Deadpool.
No, I didn't choose the name from the Dirty Harry film. It was a comic book character. This character was the definition of human perfection.
He was smart, fast, agile and deadly. He had a host of strange guns and knives that were functional as hell and the best part...you couldn't hurt the guy...he just had no fucking fear whatsoever.
Why? Well, see, Deadpool was a mutant. He had the same mutant ability as Wolverine...he could heal and regenerate. That ability came in pretty handy because he was eaten alive with cancer. No bullshit. This guy was living with the plague of the 21st century on a daily basis...what the hell did he have to fear from anyone else? He was one of the deadliest assassins in the Marvel Universe so when someone absolutely, positively, had to be killed after having one of his smartass lines delivered...accept no substitutes. This guy could kick the shit out of anyone, cracking wiseass jokes the whole time.
The only problem that Marvel faced was that Deadpool was supposed to be a supervillain but the fans responded to him so well that eventually, Marvel had to turn him into the morally ambiguous contract killer-for-hire type mercenary...an anti-hero. What that meant is whether or not he did the right thing was solely dependent on where he was to benefit. That's us, one and all, dear readers. Whether you want to admit it or not, none of us are truly altruistic. We would like to think we are, but we're not.
Based on all of those things, should Deadpool have ever been an actual person, he would have been the illustration of what it is to be perfect in every way. Incidentally, Deadpool's actual name was Wade Wilson and that character will be played by Ryan Reynolds in the upcoming 2009 X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie if I'm not mistaken.
If all of our problems end up becoming solved, that will spell the end of The Genocydal Empyre Omega.
Just don't count Deadpool out.
Being Lord Genocyde is more painful than you might imagine. For starters, Lord Genocyde was created as a means of amplifying all that is going wrong with the world. If you've checked out the latest Batman movies, you know that Batman was working toward a world that didn't need him. That's been the goal here. You'd think that my own detractors would get that but sadly, most of them wouldn't get a pre-school-level joke if it were explained to them in painstaking detail.
Most people seem to think that, if it weren't for all the things that I'd been talking about on the show prior to our departure from Darkside Radio, I would simply be destroyed from having nothing to do. Actually, that's not true and I've already proven it.
First thing I did when we quit was take some time off. I didn't listen to anything having to deal with our normal show material. I didn't look at anything relating to 9/11, the economy, the joke that is Election '08...none of it. I didn't even look at NIST's report regarding Building 7. Not because it was my time off...but because I think even a fourth-grader could have predicted the outcome of that one (and I think it would have been better if a fourth-grader had written it with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny as having been the cause of the collapse)...and it was my time off. I stayed away from it all. I wanted to see just how well I'd do without having to be Lord Genocyde for about a month.
Know how it felt? Some will speculate that I went nuts. Others will say that I ended up bored. Still more will shout that I had nearly died from some supposed self-infliction.
Nope, it felt pretty damned awesome. No responsibilities, no bullshit, no constantly hearing some maladjusted dickhead screaming shit at me over IMs or MySpace about how I deserve to be locked in some prison Amnesty International doesn't know about because I'm such a "conspiracy theorist." Those people have a lot to fear when they're calling for measures like that, don't they? I wonder what they're so afraid of if I'm so damn wrong?
Digression aside...it felt great. I sat around watching movies from time to time. I surfed the net for porn, went to work out, went to the movies a couple of times, had chinese food one night, drove around listening to Professor Ronald Mallett talk about time travel, reviewed more close combat training material, shouldered a troublesome roomie out of the picture...the works. I had a great time not having to do shit on MY time off.
A world without Lord Genocyde felt awesome to me. Damien just kicked around doing his thing...living about the closest thing to a "normal" life that he had ever hoped to live.
Still, I wish this story had a happy ending that Lord Genocyde was finally laid to rest or went back home and never returned and Damien IMed, emailed and chatted into a virtual sunset.
I wish.
It isn't that I don't enjoy internet radio...I enjoy that immensely. It's like Batman enjoys being able to scare criminals using the suit, the ninja skills, the gadgets, gizmos, the Tumbler, The motorcycle and all that but what he doesn't like...and the part that tears him up is seeing what the victimization is like...what the effect is on the people that he's trying to protect. I enjoy internet radio and talking on the air, presenting the new music, bullshitting with you all but it's the bad news that I have to illustrate and the fact that the effects are being so vastly felt while still being largely denied. That's the part that kills me.
So I put on my own Ninja suit and went skulking around other parts under a name few will know...Deadpool.
No, I didn't choose the name from the Dirty Harry film. It was a comic book character. This character was the definition of human perfection.
He was smart, fast, agile and deadly. He had a host of strange guns and knives that were functional as hell and the best part...you couldn't hurt the guy...he just had no fucking fear whatsoever.
Why? Well, see, Deadpool was a mutant. He had the same mutant ability as Wolverine...he could heal and regenerate. That ability came in pretty handy because he was eaten alive with cancer. No bullshit. This guy was living with the plague of the 21st century on a daily basis...what the hell did he have to fear from anyone else? He was one of the deadliest assassins in the Marvel Universe so when someone absolutely, positively, had to be killed after having one of his smartass lines delivered...accept no substitutes. This guy could kick the shit out of anyone, cracking wiseass jokes the whole time.
The only problem that Marvel faced was that Deadpool was supposed to be a supervillain but the fans responded to him so well that eventually, Marvel had to turn him into the morally ambiguous contract killer-for-hire type mercenary...an anti-hero. What that meant is whether or not he did the right thing was solely dependent on where he was to benefit. That's us, one and all, dear readers. Whether you want to admit it or not, none of us are truly altruistic. We would like to think we are, but we're not.
Based on all of those things, should Deadpool have ever been an actual person, he would have been the illustration of what it is to be perfect in every way. Incidentally, Deadpool's actual name was Wade Wilson and that character will be played by Ryan Reynolds in the upcoming 2009 X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie if I'm not mistaken.
If all of our problems end up becoming solved, that will spell the end of The Genocydal Empyre Omega.
Just don't count Deadpool out.
posted by Lord Genocyde at 3:43 AM
4 Comments:
I heard that!lol I thought I was the ONLY one that didn't want my screename popping up in google when I check out the porn sites.LOL
Hey..question:when was that show done with Misty talking on it.I get so tickled when you burp on the radio.I wonder if Kidd Kraddik does that?(you may not get that on the radio,but you can always google it)
I listen to them(usually) from 6-10 every morning.They crack my a*** up.You do too,cept' K.K. and them can't really talk freely like you could.I bet if they could the show would be better.
Travel time?hahaha Am I bass-ackwards or maybe one of those ding-dongs that don't catch a pre-school level joke?Cuz I thought is was time-travel...like going back in time,or ahead in time?(giggle)
So you DID get rid of the alcaholic braindead roomie?I don't see how you put up with that crap as long as you did.I had to tell my own sister to get the f***OUT!!(terrible sister?)...NOT!! The b*** pulled my hair and that's when the cat fight was on big pimp! We were tearing the house down,and she wound up leaving with a bump or 2.Hey!Wait!She hit me FIRST!
huggggggs
Oh...I almost forgot...hey that chizzler in my post DOES favor Ray,huh?
Good memory.Your just too freakin' cool,ya know?(having my back and all).
It WOULD be soooo nice to know some techniques that would put a grown man on his ass when he hits me upside my head like Ray loooved to do.
Misty guest-hosted a lot of shows with me. She created the Millennium Omega segment so it's her baby...that pretty much means she gets free rein on my show.
You're right...it's time travel. What Professor Mallett suggests is that you can't really go too far back in time because the technological gate hasn't been created yet. Once the machine is turned on then you can travel ahead but you can only go so far back as to just after the first machine has been turned on.
I got rid of him by cold-shouldering him. Petulant little fuck left of his own accord...good thing he did too. I put up with him for only a few weeks...that's less time than many others.
She started it, you finished it...I call that pretty fair.
One good technique that would instantly immobilize Ray's ass while permanently injuring him at the same time is what I call The Vulcan Eye Grab.
Here's how it's done:
1. Make a V shape with your hand like Mr. Spock used to do in Star Trek.
2. Shove your fingertips into his eyes with your hand in that formation and make applesauce of them.
Your fingers will get gooey but he won't be able to see to do it again.
Or you can do an arm wrap, throat pinch.
Normally, those slaps upside the head will involve a large arm arc movement on his part.
1. Move your arm closest to that arm in the opposite direction. If he's coming in clockwise, you go counter clockwise and let his arm hit your lateral muscle (that's known commonly as the wing) and then wrap your arm completely around his.
2. reach up and pinch the shit out of his adam's apple and walk him backward...spin if you have to. Put him on his ass and you tell him while he's choking that if he ever does it again, you'll start tearing off appendages starting with that useless, miniscule cock of his...that should work.
Just remember...domestic violence laws are a bitch so be able to justify and articulate what you do, why you did it, how you did it and the order in which you did it.
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