Episode 121: Unidentified Communications Object
Throughout my life, I've always wondered just what would happen if the world released the ultimate Multimedia Machine upon the world.
Would everyone carry one? Would it change the state of things as we know them?
Seems that way.
You've seen the commercials that tell you that, if you can think of a use, the iPhone has an application that will allow you to do it. Well, after three months of playing with this fucker, I can tell you that the saying is true. Apple isn't advertising falsely. It's a phone, an iPod, a radio, a day planner, a gaming device, a personal computer, comic books, books, do nothing fuck off device and general boredom killing machine.
I told you that to tell you this. I've gone retro for the moment. My iPhone keeps me up to date on everything I could want and it's my constant companion. Hell, if I get bored enough, I'll chat with Amy, an A.I. program based in New York City. She still isn't up on the lingo and who can blame her? The English language is the toughest to learn, after all. If I need to go somewhere I've never been, the map/navigation system will get me there. If I need to know something about The Constitution or the Bible, I've got apps for those too, I can watch movies, old T.V. Shows, shit, name it.
I even listen to The Alex Jones Show on this thing. While listening to Alex's show, I came across a website called VaticanCatholic.com and they promised a massive package of information for only ten bucks. I love cheap info, so I bought it. A week later this massive package came in. I got two encyclical books, Two larger books (one of them was the size of a phone book), Eight DVDs, Some papers I haven't gone through yet and two cassette tapes.
Wait...cassette tapes? No one on earth had a cassette player anymore. No stores even sell them anymore. Oh boy...all these DVDs and they couldn't slap the info onto a CD? Next thing you know, these guys will wanna bring eight track tapes back.
This is where I went retro. Last place I even saw a cassette player was on a video for Lordi's song "Hard Rock Hallelujah" and I couldn't help but think that the only reason everyone was looking at the girl in the video sideways was because she had a tape player on her belt. I hit the dollar stores and found nothing. Not even some shitty cheap ass version that would let me plug into the computer via patch cable and convert to MP3. Geez!
All the way to and from the Dollar store, I was listening to more bad news on talk radio about how we were about to go down the drain economically. Yeah, tell me something I don't know. On the way back, though, I lamented the loss of my one tape deck. I had no clue as to where it went. I actually found myself wishing that I'd had my Aiwa tape deck again with the AM/FM tuner and something like 40 Presets even though I only used maybe five total.
I remembered walking around with tapes in just about every pocket and just listening to them for hours on end. I wouldn't stop walking until I was done with nearly every tape in my pockets. Life was really good back in those days. I remembered getting together with friends, putting scotch tape over the small write protection holes at the top and making mixtapes of various songs from different CDs that my friends had. We were the original Rip, Mix, Burn Generation. Does anyone else remember those days? Probably if you're over 30 by now, you remember how long that process used to take. You always had a favorite. Remember when portable CD players cost almost an arm and a leg and CDs would break your bank too?
I can't say I didn't see the day coming. I knew it was on it's way but I didn't think about it and I should have had a technological backup somewhere. Getting rid of that tape deck was a great idea....suuuuure. Now, I was stuck with two tapes that I couldn't listen to and I'd have to turn to the one place I didn't wanna go...the 'Net's own black market. What stunned me was that the best tape deck I found was nearly $50 and was actually (please refrain from laughing) listed as "vintage electronics." HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA...Whaaaa? The money wasn't a problem for me...I've got that but it was how the damned thing was marketed. Vintage Electronics is like marketing a used rubber like you'd market a used tire. Sure, it's used but look at that tread!
What will happen when the ultimate communications device is unleashed upon the public? What will we see? What will we hear? What will we sense?
Will there be wonder and awe? Will there be riots in the streets?
Will we all be watched?
Would everyone carry one? Would it change the state of things as we know them?
Seems that way.
You've seen the commercials that tell you that, if you can think of a use, the iPhone has an application that will allow you to do it. Well, after three months of playing with this fucker, I can tell you that the saying is true. Apple isn't advertising falsely. It's a phone, an iPod, a radio, a day planner, a gaming device, a personal computer, comic books, books, do nothing fuck off device and general boredom killing machine.
I told you that to tell you this. I've gone retro for the moment. My iPhone keeps me up to date on everything I could want and it's my constant companion. Hell, if I get bored enough, I'll chat with Amy, an A.I. program based in New York City. She still isn't up on the lingo and who can blame her? The English language is the toughest to learn, after all. If I need to go somewhere I've never been, the map/navigation system will get me there. If I need to know something about The Constitution or the Bible, I've got apps for those too, I can watch movies, old T.V. Shows, shit, name it.
I even listen to The Alex Jones Show on this thing. While listening to Alex's show, I came across a website called VaticanCatholic.com and they promised a massive package of information for only ten bucks. I love cheap info, so I bought it. A week later this massive package came in. I got two encyclical books, Two larger books (one of them was the size of a phone book), Eight DVDs, Some papers I haven't gone through yet and two cassette tapes.
Wait...cassette tapes? No one on earth had a cassette player anymore. No stores even sell them anymore. Oh boy...all these DVDs and they couldn't slap the info onto a CD? Next thing you know, these guys will wanna bring eight track tapes back.
This is where I went retro. Last place I even saw a cassette player was on a video for Lordi's song "Hard Rock Hallelujah" and I couldn't help but think that the only reason everyone was looking at the girl in the video sideways was because she had a tape player on her belt. I hit the dollar stores and found nothing. Not even some shitty cheap ass version that would let me plug into the computer via patch cable and convert to MP3. Geez!
All the way to and from the Dollar store, I was listening to more bad news on talk radio about how we were about to go down the drain economically. Yeah, tell me something I don't know. On the way back, though, I lamented the loss of my one tape deck. I had no clue as to where it went. I actually found myself wishing that I'd had my Aiwa tape deck again with the AM/FM tuner and something like 40 Presets even though I only used maybe five total.
I remembered walking around with tapes in just about every pocket and just listening to them for hours on end. I wouldn't stop walking until I was done with nearly every tape in my pockets. Life was really good back in those days. I remembered getting together with friends, putting scotch tape over the small write protection holes at the top and making mixtapes of various songs from different CDs that my friends had. We were the original Rip, Mix, Burn Generation. Does anyone else remember those days? Probably if you're over 30 by now, you remember how long that process used to take. You always had a favorite. Remember when portable CD players cost almost an arm and a leg and CDs would break your bank too?
I can't say I didn't see the day coming. I knew it was on it's way but I didn't think about it and I should have had a technological backup somewhere. Getting rid of that tape deck was a great idea....suuuuure. Now, I was stuck with two tapes that I couldn't listen to and I'd have to turn to the one place I didn't wanna go...the 'Net's own black market. What stunned me was that the best tape deck I found was nearly $50 and was actually (please refrain from laughing) listed as "vintage electronics." HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA...Whaaaa? The money wasn't a problem for me...I've got that but it was how the damned thing was marketed. Vintage Electronics is like marketing a used rubber like you'd market a used tire. Sure, it's used but look at that tread!
What will happen when the ultimate communications device is unleashed upon the public? What will we see? What will we hear? What will we sense?
Will there be wonder and awe? Will there be riots in the streets?
Will we all be watched?
posted by Lord Genocyde at 7:16 PM
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