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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Episode 34: What Have You Done?!

I saw it last night and couldn't believe it. Shawn Michaels has completely let his obsession with facing The Undertaker at WrestleMania XXVI take him to a whole new level.

History Montage of HBK vs. Undertaker

I have to hand it to The San Antonio Native, he did everything he could and pursued every legal channel in the WWE to do it. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough. He lost at the Royal Rumble. His road to WrestleMania has been overrun with frustration and dead ends. The Heartbreak Kid even went as far as dissolving D-Generation X, leaving his partner Hunter Hearst Helmsley without half of a team that was pure rebellious comic genius before they became a couple of pitchmen. At The Elimination Chamber Pay Per View, Shawn Michaels did what I thought no one could or would do. Inside Satan's Structure, during Undertaker's match with Chris Jericho, Michaels entered what I once thought was an impregnable and unforgiving circle of hell. Undertaker got a taste of Michaels' boot, costing him the World Heavyweight Title to Chris Jericho.

No doubt about it, the next night on WWE Monday Night Raw, he had The Undertaker's full and undivided attention.

For the first time ever, I thought Undertaker would bring back The Casket Match or The Buried Alive Match and bury Michaels once and for all. Undertaker didn't enter the ring with his trademark hat and duster this time. He entered as I remembered him at his most lethal. He had taken on the Lord of Darkness looked.

Messing with The Undertaker is a lot like injecting a bull with steroids and shoving chopped up meth under his nose, wearing a red suit, kicking it in the balls and then giving it the finger while wearing a leather jacket...it's just something no one does unless you have a death wish.

The Heartbreak Kid explained that Undertaker had left him with no choice but to go to the lengths to which he had gone just to get his match. Looking at Shawn Michaels in the face, I saw something I'd never seen before...sadness and desperation. Michaels has a reputation for being a showman but the montage that was featured of all of the frustrating failures leading up to this moment was just as the look on his face suggested...heartbreaking. For anyone who's ever reached up, scraped, climbed, pulled and suffered for that one moment in the sun only to have it denied you no matter how you did your best, that was the look on his face. He was out of time and didn't know what else to do.

The Deadman towered over Michaels and didn't say a word. I'd seen that demonic calm over Undertaker before...and it never ended well.

After explanations were over, The Undertaker accepted. There was only one condition...Michaels would have to put his soul on the line. Undertaker clarified further. HBK's wrestling career is his heart and soul. To lose it would devastate Michaels. Michaels is already being eaten alive by the mistake at Wrestlemania XXV that cost him the victory in his match against The Deadman last year...a mistake that leaves Undertaker's Win Streak for WrestleMania a cool 19 wins. Michaels believes with his whole heart that he can end the streak but, as Undertaker put it, The Streak is being put on the line...and so is HBK's career.

"You don't get it?!" Michaels said, "If I can't beat you...I don't have a career."

A series of images flashed in my mind. Sure, Michaels has beaten Undertaker before and has been left a bloody mess afterward. At Badd Blood '97, Shawn Michaels was barely conscious after a stunning defeat. It took Hunter Hearst Helmsly and Chyna to help him out of the ring. He had defeated the Undertaker but not without help from Kane and definitely not without Undertaker taking HBK on a grand tour of the Ninth Circle of Hell.

In that moment with Undertaker, either I heard HBK's voice crack or certain fear escape him when he finished his quote with "You're On."

Undertaker Accepts HBK's Challenge

Shawn, I have mad respect for you as a showman and a wrestler. Still, let's face facts here. You've been plagued with back problems and I sense they haven't just gone away. You've gone through your own personal hell since the Slammy Awards Challenge was thrown out there. You've always proven to me and other wrestling fans out there that you'll always give us our money's worth when it comes to giving us, not just a match, but an experience. Shawn, it's with that that I say...what the hell have you done?! I think I've illustrated what a bad idea this is. I hope you know what you're doing.

Shawn, listen to me very carefully. Don't take this the wrong way...retire after this WrestleMania. If you break the streak, I'm not sure that you'll be in any shape to continue. Remember that this is a perfect streak of WrestleMania wins and Undertaker now knows that you will do whatever it takes to see that streak ended...he's going to put you through Hellfire, Brimstone, Armageddon and Judgment Day to see that that does not happen. On the flipside of that same coin, you don't want your career ending in a loss. You want to go out on top. I get that. If you break the streak, just retire. Go live your life. You've provided this fan with more fond memories both as a hero and villain than I could have ever asked for. Break the streak, go home and go spend some time with your family and your ministry. They need you more than I do.

Undertaker, same thing...retire after this one. If your streak remains unbroken, there's no reason to do anything other than to leave a hugely tough act to follow. I don't think anyone else could ever claim 20 wins at WrestleMania. Twenty fuckin' years of WrestleMania wins? Nah...not even nineteen. It would take too long and I doubt the young punks that are up and coming are hardcore enough to last that long in the business. If Michaels breaks your streak, hey, it just goes to show you one thing; You Can't Win 'Em All.

Both of you, many of us in the WWE Universe are thinking of this one as Clash of The Titans meets Armageddon. It's gonna be epic in scope and we're expecting all-out war. What we're not expecting is for the two of you to keep doing it. There are younger guys there now. There's a whole new generation ready to take it up and guess what? You guys have to pass the torch sometime.

Undertaker, I have to say this, congratulations on setting the bar so high that the only way to beat it is by being impervious to suffering.

Shawn, it's high time to let the screams of adulation become a memory. Hold onto it as we hold onto your performances. With this recent turn of events...I just hope you know what you're doing.

I don't have a prediction for this match. I won't try to bullshit you with one, dear readers.

Give 'Em Hell, Guys...

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