Episode 43: Let It Roll
It's been a while, I know. To all my readers who have been wondering, "Just where the fuck have you been?" Just know that I got in a little bit over my head. The new store still has me busting my ass and there's just far too much drama there. So what have I been doing? Looking for and being rejected by other jobs. I know, fucked up, but hey...it is what it is.
Kinda thought that the big one had come for a minute. About a week and a half ago, I was approached at work as I was breaking into a round of over-the-top celebrity impressions and things like that. You know, the crap I do just to make people laugh. Naturally, I was given a card and my phone number and stuff like that was taken. Talent scout, maybe? What could they really do with my phone number and the fact that I did internet radio for awhile? Nothing. So anyway, I thought, "Yeah, right, I'll probably never hear from this again." I was wrong.
As I was driving home, I got a call and the appointment had been set up in Philly for my next day off. Needless to say, I didn't know what the hell would happen. All I knew was that I had been given instructions. First, dress was business casual...for me, that meant black suit and red tie. Second, check out their website. I know you'd like me to list it but I won't publicly because what comes next is something I still haven't made up my mind on yet. I'm still leaning toward that the offer wasn't legit but, understand that before I go any further on this one, all I have is what I'm relating to you and what problems I had with what had happened
Okay, so I filled both criteria here and I go in. I'm an hour early and for anyone who's had to use metered parking...that's a bitch because you have no idea how long past that appointment time you're going to go. As it turns out...it wasn't that long. Once my appointment came up, I was sitting in a room with all these other hopefuls there and that's when the head of the company came in and basically laid it all out. This is an agency that makes the following as their claim. They put you in front of Grammy and Emmy award winners, producers, agents and some of the top people in the industry of modeling, music, acting and areas of that nature. Basically, they connect you with people. You get to meet the right people and then...it's up to you. But it happens at a private event and then, it's up to you to get yourself rocking and rolling. Okay, now I'm down. Here's the catch...you don't buy a seat...it's earned.
Well if it's one thing and one thing I do well...it's earn things. Look, just today, I negotiated myself into a fuckin' X-Box when I've had no real desire to own one and that was fuckin' easy as hell.
Okay, so I get my choice of interview times...for the next day. I have to work but I mean, shit, this looks full of more promise than what my job's offering. I make calls and arrange for me to get off at 1pm instead of 5pm. Nice, huh? With no coverage...that's fucking fantastic.
Now...let's go back. Mission: Accomplished.
Okay so now I have two things I have to do.
1. I have to come up with ten things that make me as a person...unique.
For those of you that don't know me this is true...you love me or you hate me. No in-between. You can get to know me pretty well within the first hour of meeting me. By then, you've come up with a list of shit that sets me apart from everyone else you've ever met. They can be positive or negative.
2. I also have to come up with a paragraph of why this agency of sorts would benefit me and how I could benefit the company.
No problem there.
I got home...and drew a fucking blank. If I had time, I'd have hit up some of my friends here but I'll be goddamned if they didn't throw this one on me quickly as shit.
Now, here's what I got accomplished by four in the morning.
I actually came up with that list. I wrote a page. I got a title sheet for the demo disc. Yeah, I took one of our best shows and burned a fuckin' disc...and listened to that show from a critical standpoint. Good stuff at the time I'd recorded it but from a critical standpoint two years out...there are things I'd definitely do differently now.
I figured here was my "portfolio" of sorts.
When I went back, I was amped. I was ready to put it all on the table and say, "Okay, here it is and here's what I want to do with it."
I got into the place and, again, early as hell. I was actually in the middle of reading Neuromancer on my iPod and I got in to see them early again.
All they asked to see where the four pictures that I'd brought of me the night before. The entire time. I mean I also looked into photographers for headshots and shit like that but not one ounce of the homework I'd been assigned was ever requested. That bothered me later.
They had two events and this was the bomb that got dropped...it was gonna cost me nearly $2k...and a deposit of almost $500...due today. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Needless to say, long story short...wasn't happening.
I left but I wasn't unhappy with the end result. The weather was nice, I had half the day off and overall....the day just worked out for me somewhere.
I went to work the next day and the damned iPod's Coast To Coast AM podcasts had run out. Now, I'm without anything to listen to except the sound of the engine of the Cruiser and that's when the questions began popping into my head.
Why didn't they ask for the work I'd been given to do? I don't feel the need to be checked on everything that I do and I don't need approval but, look, if you're assigning me tasks to see if I'm good at following instructions, then at least have a look. Why? You're asking me to prove myself and if you're not going to pay attention to it...then let's not waste each other's time.
Why wouldn't they just tell me what's going on in advance? I mean, there's nothing wrong with telling me what I can expect. I might come back the second time around, I might not but at least I will be prepared. If you don't let me prepare, I can't help you.
Why would they need money up front when they just got done telling me to never pay up front and that I'd have to earn my seat at this event? I see that my definition of the word "earn" greatly differs from their own.
Why did they insist that Google was not my friend? Would Bing be a better search engine for reputable agents or casting calls?
Questions like these were killing me. I wanted so badly to start beating my path to the bigger and better things I know I have in store for me but, as Ozzy once said, "You're either in or in the way."
While these questions bothered me, I ended up showing up for work about an hour early. I had nothing to do and boredom meant that those questions would torment me until I answered them. That's when I decided to do some research when I got home on this place. Then the thought hit me, "Hey genius, you have a fuckin' Droid Phone in your goddamn pocket. Do a fuckin' Google search!"
Well it answered one question...seems Google isn't their friend. The first five links were people who have sued this company and won or those who've researched the company to find out it was a scam. There were the occasional people in there stating that they really got on the fast track to always having work with a decent agent in their pocket but those were so few and far between that I've decided to close the door on that company for the time being. I'd need far more success stories from people who have actually used their services before I shell out a damn dime.
So, with no money to give them...if they were indeed a group of scam artists...I could not be scammed. If they're legit then I have to point out one thing...keep this one in mind.
These people made the claim that they have an success rate of 90%. Here's the problem. The way it was presented is that I'm put in front of people who know what they're doing. Then...it's up to ME to do the following up...
Okay so if I'm one of the successes...they claim me as part of that percentage? What happened if over 50% didn't bother following up? Would they then claim that less than 40% of the people make it because they fail to follow up and that this business is only truly for the strong? No. Let's not misrepresent the fact. The fact is if you have a success rate at all it's because you've done the work. You've found the work. You're an agency now. If that's not the case...then perhaps 90% of the people that go through you make it work out for themselves. You don't have a success rate.
Simply put, you're not taking the credit for my work. I'd appreciate being connected by you guys but I'll be the one doing the work. That kind of screams a huge misrepresentation of a fact
So the next step is definitely going to be find a reputable agent and possibly get some head shots and get the ball rolling.
I'm not really sure how to end this one. I don't know how to lower the landing gear and guide this one in for a smooth landing. It's kind of a first for me.
So that's how it's been for me. I hope you've enjoyed it and I hope that it sheds a little light on things.
That's all for me.
Thanks everyone
And Goodnight....
Kinda thought that the big one had come for a minute. About a week and a half ago, I was approached at work as I was breaking into a round of over-the-top celebrity impressions and things like that. You know, the crap I do just to make people laugh. Naturally, I was given a card and my phone number and stuff like that was taken. Talent scout, maybe? What could they really do with my phone number and the fact that I did internet radio for awhile? Nothing. So anyway, I thought, "Yeah, right, I'll probably never hear from this again." I was wrong.
As I was driving home, I got a call and the appointment had been set up in Philly for my next day off. Needless to say, I didn't know what the hell would happen. All I knew was that I had been given instructions. First, dress was business casual...for me, that meant black suit and red tie. Second, check out their website. I know you'd like me to list it but I won't publicly because what comes next is something I still haven't made up my mind on yet. I'm still leaning toward that the offer wasn't legit but, understand that before I go any further on this one, all I have is what I'm relating to you and what problems I had with what had happened
Okay, so I filled both criteria here and I go in. I'm an hour early and for anyone who's had to use metered parking...that's a bitch because you have no idea how long past that appointment time you're going to go. As it turns out...it wasn't that long. Once my appointment came up, I was sitting in a room with all these other hopefuls there and that's when the head of the company came in and basically laid it all out. This is an agency that makes the following as their claim. They put you in front of Grammy and Emmy award winners, producers, agents and some of the top people in the industry of modeling, music, acting and areas of that nature. Basically, they connect you with people. You get to meet the right people and then...it's up to you. But it happens at a private event and then, it's up to you to get yourself rocking and rolling. Okay, now I'm down. Here's the catch...you don't buy a seat...it's earned.
Well if it's one thing and one thing I do well...it's earn things. Look, just today, I negotiated myself into a fuckin' X-Box when I've had no real desire to own one and that was fuckin' easy as hell.
Okay, so I get my choice of interview times...for the next day. I have to work but I mean, shit, this looks full of more promise than what my job's offering. I make calls and arrange for me to get off at 1pm instead of 5pm. Nice, huh? With no coverage...that's fucking fantastic.
Now...let's go back. Mission: Accomplished.
Okay so now I have two things I have to do.
1. I have to come up with ten things that make me as a person...unique.
For those of you that don't know me this is true...you love me or you hate me. No in-between. You can get to know me pretty well within the first hour of meeting me. By then, you've come up with a list of shit that sets me apart from everyone else you've ever met. They can be positive or negative.
2. I also have to come up with a paragraph of why this agency of sorts would benefit me and how I could benefit the company.
No problem there.
I got home...and drew a fucking blank. If I had time, I'd have hit up some of my friends here but I'll be goddamned if they didn't throw this one on me quickly as shit.
Now, here's what I got accomplished by four in the morning.
I actually came up with that list. I wrote a page. I got a title sheet for the demo disc. Yeah, I took one of our best shows and burned a fuckin' disc...and listened to that show from a critical standpoint. Good stuff at the time I'd recorded it but from a critical standpoint two years out...there are things I'd definitely do differently now.
I figured here was my "portfolio" of sorts.
When I went back, I was amped. I was ready to put it all on the table and say, "Okay, here it is and here's what I want to do with it."
I got into the place and, again, early as hell. I was actually in the middle of reading Neuromancer on my iPod and I got in to see them early again.
All they asked to see where the four pictures that I'd brought of me the night before. The entire time. I mean I also looked into photographers for headshots and shit like that but not one ounce of the homework I'd been assigned was ever requested. That bothered me later.
They had two events and this was the bomb that got dropped...it was gonna cost me nearly $2k...and a deposit of almost $500...due today. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. Needless to say, long story short...wasn't happening.
I left but I wasn't unhappy with the end result. The weather was nice, I had half the day off and overall....the day just worked out for me somewhere.
I went to work the next day and the damned iPod's Coast To Coast AM podcasts had run out. Now, I'm without anything to listen to except the sound of the engine of the Cruiser and that's when the questions began popping into my head.
Why didn't they ask for the work I'd been given to do? I don't feel the need to be checked on everything that I do and I don't need approval but, look, if you're assigning me tasks to see if I'm good at following instructions, then at least have a look. Why? You're asking me to prove myself and if you're not going to pay attention to it...then let's not waste each other's time.
Why wouldn't they just tell me what's going on in advance? I mean, there's nothing wrong with telling me what I can expect. I might come back the second time around, I might not but at least I will be prepared. If you don't let me prepare, I can't help you.
Why would they need money up front when they just got done telling me to never pay up front and that I'd have to earn my seat at this event? I see that my definition of the word "earn" greatly differs from their own.
Why did they insist that Google was not my friend? Would Bing be a better search engine for reputable agents or casting calls?
Questions like these were killing me. I wanted so badly to start beating my path to the bigger and better things I know I have in store for me but, as Ozzy once said, "You're either in or in the way."
While these questions bothered me, I ended up showing up for work about an hour early. I had nothing to do and boredom meant that those questions would torment me until I answered them. That's when I decided to do some research when I got home on this place. Then the thought hit me, "Hey genius, you have a fuckin' Droid Phone in your goddamn pocket. Do a fuckin' Google search!"
Well it answered one question...seems Google isn't their friend. The first five links were people who have sued this company and won or those who've researched the company to find out it was a scam. There were the occasional people in there stating that they really got on the fast track to always having work with a decent agent in their pocket but those were so few and far between that I've decided to close the door on that company for the time being. I'd need far more success stories from people who have actually used their services before I shell out a damn dime.
So, with no money to give them...if they were indeed a group of scam artists...I could not be scammed. If they're legit then I have to point out one thing...keep this one in mind.
These people made the claim that they have an success rate of 90%. Here's the problem. The way it was presented is that I'm put in front of people who know what they're doing. Then...it's up to ME to do the following up...
Okay so if I'm one of the successes...they claim me as part of that percentage? What happened if over 50% didn't bother following up? Would they then claim that less than 40% of the people make it because they fail to follow up and that this business is only truly for the strong? No. Let's not misrepresent the fact. The fact is if you have a success rate at all it's because you've done the work. You've found the work. You're an agency now. If that's not the case...then perhaps 90% of the people that go through you make it work out for themselves. You don't have a success rate.
Simply put, you're not taking the credit for my work. I'd appreciate being connected by you guys but I'll be the one doing the work. That kind of screams a huge misrepresentation of a fact
So the next step is definitely going to be find a reputable agent and possibly get some head shots and get the ball rolling.
I'm not really sure how to end this one. I don't know how to lower the landing gear and guide this one in for a smooth landing. It's kind of a first for me.
So that's how it's been for me. I hope you've enjoyed it and I hope that it sheds a little light on things.
That's all for me.
Thanks everyone
And Goodnight....
posted by Lord Genocyde at 7:00 PM
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