Episode 40: Number One Contender
Right here, right now, I'm going to make a very important announcement to all of you.
As of today...I am announcing myself Number One Contender for the World Heavyweight Title.
See, CM Punk likes to talk about how Straight Edge he is and I have to say one thing...he's right. It feels pretty good. I barely drink, I don't smoke and each day, I'm attempting to make more conscious decisions regarding my health.
Why do I think I'm qualified? Because, like it or not, I am. The day the WWE lost Owen Hart was the day I lost someone very near and dear to me to a horrible drug called heroin. I'll never forget it. That day will forever be burned into my mind and, after well over ten years, that day still messes with me. There are still a lot of mental scars that will probably never go away and, in a lot of ways, I still feel like it's something I could have or should have stopped. No matter what I think I could have or should have done now, and hindsight being what it is, what matters is that I'm here now. I'm all that's left of that time and moment in it. Since then, I've been through a lot and the victories have been few but they've been epic in scope.
I spend each day trying to get people close to me to kick that addiction if they can because, well, I want them to wake up and feel like I do. There's really no feeling like it in the world.
Recently, I snagged an app for my iPod that tells me how long it's been and how much money I've saved. The money saved in just a couple of months brought to mind a replica of the WWE World Heavyweight Title at a little comic shop in a mall close to me.
I've made my decision to stay off the crap for life and on May 23, 2011, my decision will have led me to that title and I'll spend a small fraction of what I've saved in a year to snag it.
Why the World Heavyweight Title? Because fighting the monster known as addiction is one of those Iron Man Matches. It's a Hell In The Cell. It's a Steel Cage Match. It's an "I Quit" Match. It's a First Blood Match. It's an Extreme Rules Match. It's all of the worst and most grueling matches ever devised by humankind. It's the one match where rules don't apply. It's one of those By Any Means Necessary Matches and if you don't take it seriously and you don't prepare and get yourself ready for the inevitable victory...it will end the other way.
That is why I'm the Number One Contender. That's why I deserve it. I'm going to hang that thing proudly on my wall, right above my monitor and every damn time that Bloodsimple song "Dead Man Walkin'" plays...damn right...that monster will know it was me that did it. I did it for the friend and confidant I lost. I did it for Misty's mom who we lost two days after my birthday and for the dad she lost less than six months after that. I did it for their memories and, most importantly to tell that monster YOU MAY HAVE TAKEN THEM BUT, GODDAMMIT, YOU. WON'T. TAKE. ME.
Every victory will be decisive and instant.
Every year passed with loss will be unleashed.
Every night that nightmares played behind my eyelids will be the undoing of that monster.
The best part is...the monster is already undone. On May 23, 2011, the final nails in the coffin will be pounded in....hard.
But that coffin won't be mine.
"It's all about the game...and how you play it,
It's all about control...and if you can take it,
It's all about your debt...and if you can pay it,
It's all about the pain...and who's gonna make it...."
-Motorhead "Time To Play The Game"
As of today...I am announcing myself Number One Contender for the World Heavyweight Title.
See, CM Punk likes to talk about how Straight Edge he is and I have to say one thing...he's right. It feels pretty good. I barely drink, I don't smoke and each day, I'm attempting to make more conscious decisions regarding my health.
Why do I think I'm qualified? Because, like it or not, I am. The day the WWE lost Owen Hart was the day I lost someone very near and dear to me to a horrible drug called heroin. I'll never forget it. That day will forever be burned into my mind and, after well over ten years, that day still messes with me. There are still a lot of mental scars that will probably never go away and, in a lot of ways, I still feel like it's something I could have or should have stopped. No matter what I think I could have or should have done now, and hindsight being what it is, what matters is that I'm here now. I'm all that's left of that time and moment in it. Since then, I've been through a lot and the victories have been few but they've been epic in scope.
I spend each day trying to get people close to me to kick that addiction if they can because, well, I want them to wake up and feel like I do. There's really no feeling like it in the world.
Recently, I snagged an app for my iPod that tells me how long it's been and how much money I've saved. The money saved in just a couple of months brought to mind a replica of the WWE World Heavyweight Title at a little comic shop in a mall close to me.
I've made my decision to stay off the crap for life and on May 23, 2011, my decision will have led me to that title and I'll spend a small fraction of what I've saved in a year to snag it.
Why the World Heavyweight Title? Because fighting the monster known as addiction is one of those Iron Man Matches. It's a Hell In The Cell. It's a Steel Cage Match. It's an "I Quit" Match. It's a First Blood Match. It's an Extreme Rules Match. It's all of the worst and most grueling matches ever devised by humankind. It's the one match where rules don't apply. It's one of those By Any Means Necessary Matches and if you don't take it seriously and you don't prepare and get yourself ready for the inevitable victory...it will end the other way.
That is why I'm the Number One Contender. That's why I deserve it. I'm going to hang that thing proudly on my wall, right above my monitor and every damn time that Bloodsimple song "Dead Man Walkin'" plays...damn right...that monster will know it was me that did it. I did it for the friend and confidant I lost. I did it for Misty's mom who we lost two days after my birthday and for the dad she lost less than six months after that. I did it for their memories and, most importantly to tell that monster YOU MAY HAVE TAKEN THEM BUT, GODDAMMIT, YOU. WON'T. TAKE. ME.
Every victory will be decisive and instant.
Every year passed with loss will be unleashed.
Every night that nightmares played behind my eyelids will be the undoing of that monster.
The best part is...the monster is already undone. On May 23, 2011, the final nails in the coffin will be pounded in....hard.
But that coffin won't be mine.
"It's all about the game...and how you play it,
It's all about control...and if you can take it,
It's all about your debt...and if you can pay it,
It's all about the pain...and who's gonna make it...."
-Motorhead "Time To Play The Game"
posted by Lord Genocyde at 9:38 PM
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