Episode 22: Carry Some Useful Info

I'm actually sitting here listening to the Mr. Mister song "Kyrie" in which some of you will know that the lyrics to the chorus are as follows:

Kyrie Eleison down the road that I must travel
Kyrie Eleison through the darkness of the night
Kyrie Eleison where I'm going will you follow
Kyrie Eleison on a highway in the light...

For those of you who don't know, the words "Kyrie Eleison" mean "Lord, have mercy" in Greek and is commonly used in Catholic and Greek Orthodox rituals.

I didn't know any of that until tonight when we heard the song in Fuddrucker's Restaurant. In all my infinite wisdom, I decided to do what I do best, I whipped out my phone and did a full-scale plunge through cyberspace to find that little sect of lyrics staring back at me...and it didn't make a lick of sense at all.

I frantically searched for a story behind the song only to find that the phrase had been translated to make more sense to me.

I felt like an idiot. For years I thought they were saying "Carry a Laser." Bringing that point up only made Misty laugh her ass off at me as though I were announcing that, in this information Superage...I was still using a Tandy 1000 RL.

"You were brought up Catholic," she said, "You went through catechism!"

"I went to catechism in Darwin's Waiting Room, honey," I said.

"Yeah but they should have taught you this," she responded.

"Baby," I said, "They were too busy trying to piss down my back and tell me it was raining with the bullshit about D&D and Ozzy Osbourne. It's not like I had anything that had evolved past the point of chimp teaching me. Hell, they refused to let me take the German class in High School for fuck's sake."

"Well they taught us what stuff like that meant," she said.

For the first time in my life, not only did I feel like a complete moron but I thought I'd been cheated by life.

Then I came upon these comments on a website:

I also thought it was "carry a laser" which was espeially poignant as I was working in a laser hair removal salon when I first noticed this song. I think the Muzak folks must have thought it was about lasers too!
- Christie, Sacramento, CA

This was a great road song! I was a Jr. in high school when this song came out. Great memeories of me and all my friends hanging out at Old Hickory Lake
- Big Ed, Pulaski, TN

These guys are very talented musicians. Do you yourself a favor and check out their first CD, "I Wear The Face" as well as their third, "Go On."
- Don, Chicago, IL

Having been raised Catholic, and being *just* old enough to remember Greek and Latin being used in certain places at Mass, I always knew they were singing "Kyrie Eleison" and what it meant. And I liked the whole Mr. Mister series of hits, even including the last semi-hit, "Is It Love," which everyone else seems to have forgotten. "Broken Wings" gets the volume cranked up every time it comes on.
- Clarke, Pittsburgh, PA

A friend and myself were talking about this song because he was makin a cd with songs that have girls names in them. He was wrong and so was I. We both thought it was Carry a laser. Now the song makes more sence.
- Steve, Rochester, NY

The first religious song i have sung
- Alberto Colonna, turin, Italy

It's like a prayer because the singer asks for help in all life's difficulties simbolyzed by the road
- Alberto Colonna, turin, Italy

It's a very beautiful song so deep
- Alberto Colonna, turin, Italy

Hey, I thought it was 'carry a laser' too! How funny! I have always wanted to know that lyric.
- Shannon, Palisade, CO

Mr.Mister was a band made up of session artists. Richard Page now does Contemporary Christian Music
- Joe, St. Louis, MO

I was 13 when this song came out and my sister was 7. he thought the chrorus was the phrase..."Carry a laser"
- chet, saratoga springs, NY

Thanks, all of you. Now I know that I'm not the only one that was ill-informed. Christos eleison if I had actually performed a karaoke version of that.